wandering.

Sometimes I get so flustered and stressed out by thinking about my life. I like to plan. I'm lying. I LOVE to plan. I have a day to day planner in my car, a monthly calendar, and a to do list calendar in my purse at all times. I like to wake up knowing what I need to get done, and what I can do in addition to my priorities. I like to skip ahead and do things sooner then they need to be done. Like paying my bills, I pay a month and a half ahead, and I pay them at the same time every pay day. Its routine. I guess the bank has partly contributed to this personality trait because I have to request days off at least a month in advanced. At first it was a hassle to schedule appointments and such, but now I've grown to love it. You give me a date for two months down the road, and I can tell you exactly where I'll be that day. The problem with this is that not everyone likes to plan. Most of my friends are what I call "last minute barbecuers" (ahahha) because I often get a text at 7 pm saying "Hey! We're having a barbecue, see you at 730?" And I'm like, yeah let me know at least two hours ago. haha. I don't expect other people to be like me, and I love the diversity, but sometimes it causes me stress. People want to spend the day with me and I always ask "what are we going to do?" usual response: "play it by ear" However, lately I've adjusted to this whole "play it by ear" thing. I'm fine with it, mostly because I'm indecisive on where to eat/what movie to see/ what to do...it kind of makes things a little more exciting, I suppose. I really sound like an old boring maid...the highlight of my life: an unplanned day..
haha.

So, where I was going with this was:

Life is just so unpredictable! You really have to be strong in faith just to get by! Last week I didn't think I would miss 4 days of work & go to the ER, but I did. That was NOT in my agenda! If I didn't trust my Lord & Savior, where would I be? Would I be stuck in last weeks misery? I can plan as much as I'd like for my future, and I can think I have control over it, but in all actuality its not up to me. Whether or not I wake up, go to work, go to school, walk, eat, breathe, its all up to Him.

January was a very hard month for my sister, Summer. Gavin (her middle child 6yrs) was diagnosed with CF in late December, she was due to have Baby Ethan on Jan 19th, and had Adrian (8 yr old son) to take care of. We prayed a lot during this month. Gavin was admitted to Children's for IVs and other treatments to determine his baseline, Adrian still wanted to attend church activities, and Ethan was on his way. Each day was harder, especially towards the birth of Ethan. She was visiting Gavin in the hospital, we didn't want to leave him unattended, she was sharing a car with her hubby Fabian, and trying to get him to work, taking Adrian to school, to church, and basic care for him. A mom, a sister, a wife, a cf caregiver, and pregnant. Looking back on that month, we had no control over anything. Gavin wasn't expected to be admitted, and I know she was very scared. I don't know how she made it through, well yeah I do. haha! Her faith is amazing. She prays a lot, really listens at church, gets involved, and she just has an uplifting spirit to her. January has come and gone, and her life has a new routine. I'm so impressed by her accomplishments through her faith. Not only in January, but all the time. Whatever it is that you're worrying about just pray! It really does make a difference! Heavenly Father knows each of us, and loves us, He wants us to reach out to Him, so we can be edified and blessed. I know its hard to trust someone 100%..but at least try.

iTunes is on shuffle, and Jesus take the wheel, by Carrie Underwood just came on. Perfect:

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

Its Good Friday. Some Christians may spend this day in fasting, prayer, repentance, and meditation, in remembrance of Christ suffering on the cross.
How amazing is it that God loves us so much, He gave His only Son to suffer for our sins. We have all sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God, but because of the Saviors cleansing power, we are renewed. We can repent, and become whole again.

I am a loved daughter of God, Jesus Christ is my Savior, Hope everyone enjoys this Good Friday, and can gear their minds towards the significance of this weekend.


.rrr