I guess typing this post will be a true test of my typing skills. the room is about as pitch dark as you could imagine, except for, of course the computer screen!
Not that anyone really reads this, but just so I can keep track for myself...
Working @ WF for now, really enjoy the people, and the job is easy. Can't complain at all. I'm at my sisters house right now, spending the night watching Ethan in his bouncer, he's in the room across from me. Each time our eyes meet his little face lights up! I love little kids and the pure hearts and innocence that they convey. It is a true expression of God's love for us. How something, someone, so small can be so happy and bring so much joy to our family. I've been over coming a lot of things this year. Inactivity, for one. I got back into church, and am really feeling God's presence and His work in my life, more and more each day. I'm still so far from where my heart desires to be, but as long as I continue to press forward with all that I have, I know that I will be blessed and will become the woman that God wants me to be. Its a long journey, that's for sure. For some reason, as of late, I'm really burdened by other people's worries. I shouldn't have additional stress, but for some reason I do. I just keep praying for these people who are going through things, but it seems as if I am turning to the Lord, instead of them. Speaking of which! I gave my FIRST TALK at church on sunday july 18th! having been a member for a little over a year, I was ecstatic and very nervous. Everyone said I did well, and I def felt the spirit as I shared my thoughts. I was instructed to share Elder Hallstroms talk entitled Turn To The Lord. The main focus is to never let an earthly experience disable you spiritually. It was just what I needed and I'm so thankful for being given the opportunity to share it with the ward!
Getting sleepy, will continue to write later!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
been a while.......
Haven't posted a new blog in a while. here's an update:
quit BOA, couldn't maintain my Christ like spirit around those people. Also looking to break free of the circle of friends and co workers from RLT. Time to move forward, step out of my comfort zone. this week *so far* i've had one interview with Cap 1, and another one on Friday w/ fargo. Hoping to land the fargo job!
Ethan Zain is so incredibly big. he has 2 teeth growing in on the bottom. he laughs, and fake cries so pathetically.
i'm single...it's different. not sure how things changed, thought it was a good relationship, but apparently something wasnt going right. how am i doing? ok. just try not to be alone, try not to think about him. he is a great guy, with a great cop out on a relationship. phone break ups? not a fan. no hard feelings, just hurt for now. decided to focus my attention to God. the time that i was spending with the BF is now replaced by listening to worship songs, and praying. i've seriously never prayed this much in my entire life, and it feels good. i know God has a plan, and this is all apart of it. and yeah, i loved someone and lost them, but God is lighting my path, wherever i may lead. maybe i'll never get married, i'll just work all the time, and have an amazing relationship with my family. or maybe God wants me to learn patience, and he will, in return, bless me with an amazing Christ like man. i'm scared, sad and a bit excited. going to try and be okay with being single for a while. its so weird to go from talking to someone everyday and seeing them a few days a week, to feeling like they don't exist. he hasn't even acknowledged me, and that is what hurts....boys will be boys. I know he'll regret it. and i'll still support him when he's overseas, maybe a box of his fav candy every now and then, just to prove to him that i truly do care for him, whether its as a friend, or whatever. i said some pretty harsh things, and feel terrible about it...but it was mostly out of anger. Please pray I get through this quickly and can be independent.
in other news....
thats about it.
teaching vacation bible school this week, really excited at how well its going :)
quit BOA, couldn't maintain my Christ like spirit around those people. Also looking to break free of the circle of friends and co workers from RLT. Time to move forward, step out of my comfort zone. this week *so far* i've had one interview with Cap 1, and another one on Friday w/ fargo. Hoping to land the fargo job!
Ethan Zain is so incredibly big. he has 2 teeth growing in on the bottom. he laughs, and fake cries so pathetically.
i'm single...it's different. not sure how things changed, thought it was a good relationship, but apparently something wasnt going right. how am i doing? ok. just try not to be alone, try not to think about him. he is a great guy, with a great cop out on a relationship. phone break ups? not a fan. no hard feelings, just hurt for now. decided to focus my attention to God. the time that i was spending with the BF is now replaced by listening to worship songs, and praying. i've seriously never prayed this much in my entire life, and it feels good. i know God has a plan, and this is all apart of it. and yeah, i loved someone and lost them, but God is lighting my path, wherever i may lead. maybe i'll never get married, i'll just work all the time, and have an amazing relationship with my family. or maybe God wants me to learn patience, and he will, in return, bless me with an amazing Christ like man. i'm scared, sad and a bit excited. going to try and be okay with being single for a while. its so weird to go from talking to someone everyday and seeing them a few days a week, to feeling like they don't exist. he hasn't even acknowledged me, and that is what hurts....boys will be boys. I know he'll regret it. and i'll still support him when he's overseas, maybe a box of his fav candy every now and then, just to prove to him that i truly do care for him, whether its as a friend, or whatever. i said some pretty harsh things, and feel terrible about it...but it was mostly out of anger. Please pray I get through this quickly and can be independent.
in other news....
thats about it.
teaching vacation bible school this week, really excited at how well its going :)
Thursday, May 6, 2010
safety
I saw angels fall down
at the glory of the Lord
and as I raise my hands I see
I saw angels fall down
at the glory of the Lord
and as I hit the ground I see
And I fall down
afraid and shaking here
And I fall down
perfectly safe in you
I saw angels fall down
at the glory of the Lord
the hurt and the broken find rest here
I saw angels fall down
at the beauty of the Lord
and as I kneeled I cried to know Him
yeah...
the weather today was so nice, went to dinner with the BF and sat out on the patio and enjoyed it.
friday; ugh how i despise thee.
saturday; how i anxiously await the arrival of theeeee.
sunday; mother's day :)
vacay next week.
great strides may 15th fair park.
lots to do!
blessed,
b.
at the glory of the Lord
and as I raise my hands I see
I saw angels fall down
at the glory of the Lord
and as I hit the ground I see
And I fall down
afraid and shaking here
And I fall down
perfectly safe in you
I saw angels fall down
at the glory of the Lord
the hurt and the broken find rest here
I saw angels fall down
at the beauty of the Lord
and as I kneeled I cried to know Him
yeah...
the weather today was so nice, went to dinner with the BF and sat out on the patio and enjoyed it.
friday; ugh how i despise thee.
saturday; how i anxiously await the arrival of theeeee.
sunday; mother's day :)
vacay next week.
great strides may 15th fair park.
lots to do!
blessed,
b.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
threesixfive
if it's real, i'll survive.
if it isn't, God has something else planned.
HE always has 3 answers:
1. Yes, Here it is.
2. Yes, but not right now.
3. No, I have something better for you
hm.
if it isn't, God has something else planned.
HE always has 3 answers:
1. Yes, Here it is.
2. Yes, but not right now.
3. No, I have something better for you
hm.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
devotion [faith]
faith isn't faith, until its the only thing you're holding onto.
what is the difference between faith and hope?
hope is a desire full of anticipation, faith is trust combined with loyalty.
I suffer from lack of faith, I have a cup running over with hope. hope that God will answer our prayers is not merely enough, of course we want it to happen, but with hope, we may have our doubts. take your hope, replace it with faith, or add faith to it, and you will be pleasantly surprised. most of us are impatient, i ask for a job, and expect God to place one right in front of me, Sometimes we ask for things and don't realize when our prayers have been answered, or we wanted something else, and refuse to let go of what we initially desired.with faith, i know that when God deems it absolutely necessary, he will answer my prayers, he will test my faith by prolonging his answers, he will show me the answers in places i would not look where can you find faith?
first you must commit yourself to searching and indulging in the faith once it is found. for me, faith is found in the worldly beauty i see when i look into the stars, how can one not have faith in such a superior God, when he created all that we are and all that we see? i find faith in reading the word, there are verses that apply to EVERY situation, you want strength?
isaiah 33:2
BE GRACIOIUS O' LORD WE LONG FOR YOU BE OUR STRENGTH EVERY MORNING AND OUR SALVATION IN TIME OF DISTRESS.
you want to know about loving Christ?
Deuteronomy 10:12
WHAT DOTH THE LORD THY GOD REQUIRE OF THEE, BUT TO FEAR THE LORD THY GOD, TO WALK IN ALL HIS WAYS AND TO LOVE HIM AND TO SERVE IHIM WITH ALL THINE HEART AND SOUL
seek and you shall find, flip through the pages of the word and sure enough you will find faith, or it may just find you.
testing the faith-
God will place you in great trials, you may experience death of a close one, how will you handle it? will you turn to God in your time of need? or ask why me? why now? Finding faith can be easier than making a bowl cereal, or harder than a rock, you must first allow yourself to become vulnerable to Christ, knock down your barriers, let His spirit lift your soul .
finding faith is something that you need to put effort in, and trust me, the Lord All Mighty is always willing to meet you MORE than halfway.
faith is not a perfect knowledge of things, it is hope for things that remain unseen. ask and ye shall receive, seek and it shall be given unto you.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
blog.
haven't posted in a while, mostly because i've been running around like a head with no chicken, or something like that. haha.
pretty much here's the DL on my life:
missed church on Sunday, had dinner with the boyfriend & friends.
monday, no work, hung out with the boyfriend after work, we went to bath & body works, watched a movie, and had din din.
tuesday, worked two shifts at le bank, went to prayer meeting.
wednesday, worked jeff's shift @ the bank so he could be with his fam, then met up with him and met some extended family members.
thursday, my day off. who knows what i'll end up doing! yay!
friday, work.
saturday, MY BDAY! yeah!
prayer meeting was really good this past tuesday. We are seeing some amazing things happen because of our devotion to God. Praying not only helps us become stronger, but it helps to remind us why we are here. my friend SGT Stewart FINALLY got his promotion, i'm way happy for him. that was a prayer answered. Jeff got his promotion, which is most def a praise. :) Baby Ethan is doing well, as well as the rest of my fam.
i have a ton of friends serving overseas, and i love them for it. i try to thank them, and remind them why their jobs are so important. but things are a little different now. i'm really trusting in God that if this is what He wants for me, then so be it. If it isn't then....well I havent thought about if it isnt because it feels so right.
i love the boyfriend.
health wise my allergies are acting up, no word on the Chase Bank position....nothing big happening. well :) i'm lying, but if i blogged about it then word might get out, and thats the last thing i want.
so in conclusion,
i've got some major decisions to make, coming up. i'm just praying that i'll do the right thing, i'll grow in my faith, and willingness to serve God, and someday i'll look back and think YEAH! it was totally worth it :)
without a shadow of a doubt i know that i love that man!
tis all.
---becky
pretty much here's the DL on my life:
missed church on Sunday, had dinner with the boyfriend & friends.
monday, no work, hung out with the boyfriend after work, we went to bath & body works, watched a movie, and had din din.
tuesday, worked two shifts at le bank, went to prayer meeting.
wednesday, worked jeff's shift @ the bank so he could be with his fam, then met up with him and met some extended family members.
thursday, my day off. who knows what i'll end up doing! yay!
friday, work.
saturday, MY BDAY! yeah!
prayer meeting was really good this past tuesday. We are seeing some amazing things happen because of our devotion to God. Praying not only helps us become stronger, but it helps to remind us why we are here. my friend SGT Stewart FINALLY got his promotion, i'm way happy for him. that was a prayer answered. Jeff got his promotion, which is most def a praise. :) Baby Ethan is doing well, as well as the rest of my fam.
i have a ton of friends serving overseas, and i love them for it. i try to thank them, and remind them why their jobs are so important. but things are a little different now. i'm really trusting in God that if this is what He wants for me, then so be it. If it isn't then....well I havent thought about if it isnt because it feels so right.
i love the boyfriend.
health wise my allergies are acting up, no word on the Chase Bank position....nothing big happening. well :) i'm lying, but if i blogged about it then word might get out, and thats the last thing i want.
so in conclusion,
i've got some major decisions to make, coming up. i'm just praying that i'll do the right thing, i'll grow in my faith, and willingness to serve God, and someday i'll look back and think YEAH! it was totally worth it :)
without a shadow of a doubt i know that i love that man!
tis all.
---becky
Friday, April 23, 2010
mmmmmmmmm.
here's a song i really like, was just singing it in my head.
enjoy :)
Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause nothing else can take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to you
You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know you are near
enjoy :)
Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause nothing else can take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to you
You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know you are near
Thursday, April 22, 2010
laugh.
:]
today was a blast. ran some errands, and went to the mall with my sister. hoping that tmrw's interview goes well. yuhh! not sure what my weekend plans are.
my boyfriend is indeed amazing, fyi.
aside from that, nothing exciting happened today. all the excitement has been pushed to next weekend & i'm ok with that! Yuh!
my back is killing me!
I love being a daughter of God, granted I make mistakes like everyone else, but lately I feel like with this faith that I have now, I really can do anything I set my mind to.
life is indeed beautiful, i'm so blessed.
Since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities -- his eternal power and divine nature -- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
— Romans 1:20
the man was too afraid to fly, so he never did land.
-beckers
today was a blast. ran some errands, and went to the mall with my sister. hoping that tmrw's interview goes well. yuhh! not sure what my weekend plans are.
my boyfriend is indeed amazing, fyi.
aside from that, nothing exciting happened today. all the excitement has been pushed to next weekend & i'm ok with that! Yuh!
my back is killing me!
I love being a daughter of God, granted I make mistakes like everyone else, but lately I feel like with this faith that I have now, I really can do anything I set my mind to.
life is indeed beautiful, i'm so blessed.
Since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities -- his eternal power and divine nature -- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
— Romans 1:20
the man was too afraid to fly, so he never did land.
-beckers
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
gibberish.
take me to the lake, take me to the park, fly so high im in heaven alive, hit so hard i cant even feel, whats this about and tell me, is it real. show me where to go and what i'll find, give me an answer, show me a sign. take me by the hands and make me understand what exactly went down, tell me if you're waiting on the game, tell me if you're feelings are of shame. guide me to the light, teach me wrong from right, what is fate and is it ever to late to find it, am i too young or am i just right, come over and hold me close tonight. wipe my tears and justify my fears, and expect the same, and tell me we'll make it to fame. give me something to hope for, something to strive toward, don't let me down, because im hoping this is what ive found. dont tell me its all fake, dont tell me its okay unless you know ill see you again someday.
xoxo
sometimes the greatest things in life, cant be seen. its a contradiction within itself. you cant touch it, but you can feel it. you cant see it, but its there. i think apart of the reason why many people deny Christianity is because they are too afraid to trust in something that isnt concrete, well the Lord almighty is concrete, we just cant see him. we see his glory all around. why should we believe in God when the world is full of skepticism? because we need to live for him, not other people, stop caring what other people think. i had an amazing experience at school the other day, i inspired someone to speak up about their religion, instead of being ashamed of it. dont be ashamed of the gospel, its our light and salvation. be grateful for what we have and never deny our Savior, Peter denied him three times in one night, and realized that he couldnt survive alone, he needed the Lord and through him he brought 3000 people to be saved.
my definition of life:
living for others, pleasing God, waking up each day excited to see what God has in store, a series of trial & error, whether or not you're going to let satan hold your sins & regrets against you, or whether you're going to accept the fact that Christ forgives you, and holds nothing against you. having fun but keeping your intentions good, laughing at things that arent even funny, jammin out in the car, painting, and most of allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
life is love. life is God. God is love.
hold your thoughts close and deep inside you, dear.
carved from the masters hand, of plain dirt and sand
with an intense emotion of spiritual being
guiding us carefully, not to crack the surface
walking aside us, hand in hand
going back to Christ, with all our might
an angelic smile, of encapsulating beauty
why are we drawn into this world of pain?
plump lips of ruby and red, tawny eyes, full of passion and ecstasy
is that my prophecy?
how cruel is it, that he tries to tempt, how amazing is it, that His love is everlasting
you have seen far too many broken dreams, to imagine your own
you've seen your world crumble to pieces, too ashamed to step out and pick them up
the pain is unbearable, simply untrue,
the pain isnt inside of you, its a thought that hes given to drive you from the Lord, a blessing in disguise, from a man of temptation and lies.
Lord of all the desires of my heart, no others can drive me to depart.
Your love, Oh Lord, fills my heart with the blood of the cross
whisper your words late at night, when you think no one is listening, He will be the light.
Hallowed be thy name, faith in you with no worries or shame, thy kingdom come, through you, all evil we shall overcome. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven, pure and sincere, give us this day our daily bread, let it be our strength to continue in your name, forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors, i will owe no man anything but love and honor for one another, Lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from the evil, for our conscience sake.
i'm feeling rather poetic, no?
not sure why, guess its all the sweetness in the tea, that i've been sipppin'.
xoxo
sometimes the greatest things in life, cant be seen. its a contradiction within itself. you cant touch it, but you can feel it. you cant see it, but its there. i think apart of the reason why many people deny Christianity is because they are too afraid to trust in something that isnt concrete, well the Lord almighty is concrete, we just cant see him. we see his glory all around. why should we believe in God when the world is full of skepticism? because we need to live for him, not other people, stop caring what other people think. i had an amazing experience at school the other day, i inspired someone to speak up about their religion, instead of being ashamed of it. dont be ashamed of the gospel, its our light and salvation. be grateful for what we have and never deny our Savior, Peter denied him three times in one night, and realized that he couldnt survive alone, he needed the Lord and through him he brought 3000 people to be saved.
my definition of life:
living for others, pleasing God, waking up each day excited to see what God has in store, a series of trial & error, whether or not you're going to let satan hold your sins & regrets against you, or whether you're going to accept the fact that Christ forgives you, and holds nothing against you. having fun but keeping your intentions good, laughing at things that arent even funny, jammin out in the car, painting, and most of allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
life is love. life is God. God is love.
hold your thoughts close and deep inside you, dear.
carved from the masters hand, of plain dirt and sand
with an intense emotion of spiritual being
guiding us carefully, not to crack the surface
walking aside us, hand in hand
going back to Christ, with all our might
an angelic smile, of encapsulating beauty
why are we drawn into this world of pain?
plump lips of ruby and red, tawny eyes, full of passion and ecstasy
is that my prophecy?
how cruel is it, that he tries to tempt, how amazing is it, that His love is everlasting
you have seen far too many broken dreams, to imagine your own
you've seen your world crumble to pieces, too ashamed to step out and pick them up
the pain is unbearable, simply untrue,
the pain isnt inside of you, its a thought that hes given to drive you from the Lord, a blessing in disguise, from a man of temptation and lies.
Lord of all the desires of my heart, no others can drive me to depart.
Your love, Oh Lord, fills my heart with the blood of the cross
whisper your words late at night, when you think no one is listening, He will be the light.
Hallowed be thy name, faith in you with no worries or shame, thy kingdom come, through you, all evil we shall overcome. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven, pure and sincere, give us this day our daily bread, let it be our strength to continue in your name, forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors, i will owe no man anything but love and honor for one another, Lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from the evil, for our conscience sake.
i'm feeling rather poetic, no?
not sure why, guess its all the sweetness in the tea, that i've been sipppin'.
first
of all...
JEFF: don't be reading my blog, please! bahaha.
in conclusion,
sincerely insincere,
beckers
JEFF: don't be reading my blog, please! bahaha.
in conclusion,
sincerely insincere,
beckers
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
forget.
Yippeeee.
Today was a great day! I had a wonderful lunch with my wonderful boyfriend. I love spending time with him, the conversations that we have, the quirky expressions that he makes, I love all of it! We had Pho (pronounced Fuh) which is a delicious Vietnamese noodle soup. Then I jetted off to the bank, had a pretty short shift today, 4 hours! It was a slow day, but time went by fast. Enjoyed some down time with my co-workers. After work, I decided not to go to prayer meeting, because I'm short on money this week & would rather not spend what I do have on gas. So I watched a movie & had dinner with the boyfriend. He makes me laugh so much that my lungs hurt, for once a body ache that I don't mind! Ha. He did get a call about the job promotion, they're going to call him back soon, so keep it in your prayers! As for me, no word...yet :) Keeping my fingers crossed! Hmm. My blog is so uninteresting...!
Listening to Taylor Swift, woot woot.
The BF bought me a purse for my bday, and of course I asked if I could have it early, hes just that wonderful! So yeahhh.
I'm so flippin' happy. Today was such a good day. 2 decent days in a row :) I'm starting to feel like my normal self again! woot woot!
I'm so blessed to be a loved daughter of God :)
sincerely sincere,
bex
Today was a great day! I had a wonderful lunch with my wonderful boyfriend. I love spending time with him, the conversations that we have, the quirky expressions that he makes, I love all of it! We had Pho (pronounced Fuh) which is a delicious Vietnamese noodle soup. Then I jetted off to the bank, had a pretty short shift today, 4 hours! It was a slow day, but time went by fast. Enjoyed some down time with my co-workers. After work, I decided not to go to prayer meeting, because I'm short on money this week & would rather not spend what I do have on gas. So I watched a movie & had dinner with the boyfriend. He makes me laugh so much that my lungs hurt, for once a body ache that I don't mind! Ha. He did get a call about the job promotion, they're going to call him back soon, so keep it in your prayers! As for me, no word...yet :) Keeping my fingers crossed! Hmm. My blog is so uninteresting...!
Listening to Taylor Swift, woot woot.
The BF bought me a purse for my bday, and of course I asked if I could have it early, hes just that wonderful! So yeahhh.
I'm so flippin' happy. Today was such a good day. 2 decent days in a row :) I'm starting to feel like my normal self again! woot woot!
I'm so blessed to be a loved daughter of God :)
sincerely sincere,
bex
Monday, April 19, 2010
rotten.
slept 54.17% of the day. starting next monday i'll be working from 2-6. i was hoping to take some classes this summer, but i'm not too sure what my schedule will be like. going to meet with an advisor thursday, hopefully. had a lovely dinner with at the boyfriend's sisters casa. played scattergories, scattagories... (??) for the first time, and my goodness does that game stress me out! its really fun to play though, might have to suggest it for my fams next get together. came home and managed to be slightly productive. applied for a few openings at a few places, and looked up information on scholarships available. hopefully something will land in front of me, so that i can continue to work towards my goal of transferring to a university. looking forward to getting back in the routine of working...
Baby Ethan is 3 months old TODAY. i cannot believe three months ago i was fretting around at Baylor Hospital, camera in hand, waiting to meet the little blessing that he is. he has grown SO much. he's eating cereal now, laughing and cooing, smiling and he is able to lift his head and he is starting to get the desire to hold his bottle. he has provided us with so much joy, and i'm so thankful to my father in heaven that he was born healthy and has been healthy these past 3 months. i can't wait to see the little sucker when he turns a year old! (: so so so adorable.
mom took my car today, which was good because i ended up saving money by staying at home :)
tomorrow consists of pho for lunch, work then hopefully jetting to irving for some prayer time with the sister & close friends. i love tuesdays
“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.” - source unknown
i love that. especially since i've been trying to grow more patient. right now, things are slow & hard for me, and i'm striving to endure them, so that i can truly learn the importance of faith & patience in the Lord.
easier said than done, thats for sure.
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all
and the beauty and the shame
in the glory of His name
Oh the wonderful cross
- The Wonderful Cross
Love&rockets
flicka
Baby Ethan is 3 months old TODAY. i cannot believe three months ago i was fretting around at Baylor Hospital, camera in hand, waiting to meet the little blessing that he is. he has grown SO much. he's eating cereal now, laughing and cooing, smiling and he is able to lift his head and he is starting to get the desire to hold his bottle. he has provided us with so much joy, and i'm so thankful to my father in heaven that he was born healthy and has been healthy these past 3 months. i can't wait to see the little sucker when he turns a year old! (: so so so adorable.
mom took my car today, which was good because i ended up saving money by staying at home :)
tomorrow consists of pho for lunch, work then hopefully jetting to irving for some prayer time with the sister & close friends. i love tuesdays
“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.” - source unknown
i love that. especially since i've been trying to grow more patient. right now, things are slow & hard for me, and i'm striving to endure them, so that i can truly learn the importance of faith & patience in the Lord.
easier said than done, thats for sure.
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all
and the beauty and the shame
in the glory of His name
Oh the wonderful cross
- The Wonderful Cross
Love&rockets
flicka
Sunday, April 18, 2010
revival
today was most definitely what i needed!
i was congested & coughing last night, but managed to sleep in! it felt so great to finally be able to sleep! woke up to a call from the boyfriend, who apparently doesn't understand that when you call someone in the morning they're using their sleepy-i-just-woke-up voice...he kept saying "are you okay? are you sick" haha. not sick. so we made our plans for the day, which was pretty much: lazy. my concern was that my room was a mess, and for once he wanted to hang out at my house. we're usually out & about or hanging out at his place. he totally caught me off guard, but i was so sleepy and didnt even bother trying to clean. he came over, we talked, snuggled, (he fell asleep- i checked my email and looked some stuff up online), grabbed lunch & watched Lost. i've been fretting a lot about being able to talk to him about stuff. Like, i'm kind of scared to tell him how i feel sometimes because i don't want to upset him. We haven't argued or anything like that, but i don't want to seem ungrateful. so we had this really good conversation and i was able to tell him stuff that i was afraid to share. like how things would be if he were to be deployed, or him offering to buy me stuff. i don't NEED anything! i have so much stuff right now, its ridiculous. & i don't want him to think that i want him to spend money on me. it could go to paying a bill or something, not me! and if he's deployed i'll take things slow, and pray more so than ever before. after all, thats all i can do, right?
i love him!
anyway, moving along.
i was just reminded that in 11 days i will be 21. how will my life change? will i start drinking and going to bars?
i think not! who knows! i'm excited. 21 is big...i thought i would never make it this far and i'm almost there. i've been so blessed!
i'm so flippin' excited. things are really looking up, i guess i just needed a relaxing day, like today, to clear my mind and stuff. hoping to figure out my summer schedule, whether or not i'll be taking classes & etc.
Keep me in your prayers, i'm working towards a goal this week...
will write more about it later :) when i know more!
Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
beck
i was congested & coughing last night, but managed to sleep in! it felt so great to finally be able to sleep! woke up to a call from the boyfriend, who apparently doesn't understand that when you call someone in the morning they're using their sleepy-i-just-woke-up voice...he kept saying "are you okay? are you sick" haha. not sick. so we made our plans for the day, which was pretty much: lazy. my concern was that my room was a mess, and for once he wanted to hang out at my house. we're usually out & about or hanging out at his place. he totally caught me off guard, but i was so sleepy and didnt even bother trying to clean. he came over, we talked, snuggled, (he fell asleep- i checked my email and looked some stuff up online), grabbed lunch & watched Lost. i've been fretting a lot about being able to talk to him about stuff. Like, i'm kind of scared to tell him how i feel sometimes because i don't want to upset him. We haven't argued or anything like that, but i don't want to seem ungrateful. so we had this really good conversation and i was able to tell him stuff that i was afraid to share. like how things would be if he were to be deployed, or him offering to buy me stuff. i don't NEED anything! i have so much stuff right now, its ridiculous. & i don't want him to think that i want him to spend money on me. it could go to paying a bill or something, not me! and if he's deployed i'll take things slow, and pray more so than ever before. after all, thats all i can do, right?
i love him!
anyway, moving along.
i was just reminded that in 11 days i will be 21. how will my life change? will i start drinking and going to bars?
i think not! who knows! i'm excited. 21 is big...i thought i would never make it this far and i'm almost there. i've been so blessed!
i'm so flippin' excited. things are really looking up, i guess i just needed a relaxing day, like today, to clear my mind and stuff. hoping to figure out my summer schedule, whether or not i'll be taking classes & etc.
Keep me in your prayers, i'm working towards a goal this week...
will write more about it later :) when i know more!
Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
beck
Saturday, April 17, 2010
validate.
i was advised to validate my emotions.
i've been on this weird emotional roller coaster.
like today, my day was pretty good. time was flying at work, raised some money for the March of Dimes, and came home to a nap. spent the latter part of the day with my wonderful boyfriend, we had dinner and HE went shopping. ahhaha. i'm on a budget, but i got to pick out his clothes for him! he sure is going to look handsome, more so than usual! love him! so yeah, it was torture for me not to go to the juniors section and pick up some clothes. sticking to my budget this month. anyways, back to my roller coaster. so i was doing fine, had a lovely day then i came home and broke down. when i'm alone in my room after a good day, thats when it all catches up with me, my stress, that is. i'm working on it. i know that tomorrow will be a better day, and as i continue to pray for the emotional and spiritual strength to overcome my blues, i will be happy and blessed, as i was before. this is a real test of patience, and i will overcome this.
sunday! i won't be going to church, i'm going to sleep in, i know thats bad, but its much needed. then going out to late lunch to have pho with my boo.
gonna read now and hope to get some rest.
:]
beckerrr
i've been on this weird emotional roller coaster.
like today, my day was pretty good. time was flying at work, raised some money for the March of Dimes, and came home to a nap. spent the latter part of the day with my wonderful boyfriend, we had dinner and HE went shopping. ahhaha. i'm on a budget, but i got to pick out his clothes for him! he sure is going to look handsome, more so than usual! love him! so yeah, it was torture for me not to go to the juniors section and pick up some clothes. sticking to my budget this month. anyways, back to my roller coaster. so i was doing fine, had a lovely day then i came home and broke down. when i'm alone in my room after a good day, thats when it all catches up with me, my stress, that is. i'm working on it. i know that tomorrow will be a better day, and as i continue to pray for the emotional and spiritual strength to overcome my blues, i will be happy and blessed, as i was before. this is a real test of patience, and i will overcome this.
sunday! i won't be going to church, i'm going to sleep in, i know thats bad, but its much needed. then going out to late lunch to have pho with my boo.
gonna read now and hope to get some rest.
:]
beckerrr
Friday, April 16, 2010
blog.
so, what a flippin' week! the first bad week i've had in a while. started out ok on monday, enjoyed the day with friends.
then BAM. tuesday just HAD to happen. made an error at work, blah pretty simple thing that i did wrong. then BAM wednesday just HAD to happen, and made another error at freaggin' work.
its not that hard, it really isn't. my mind has been all over the place lately, i'm hoping to start focusing again, soon.
i seriously need some prayer, please! i just don't want to lose my job, and health benefits. this is a necessity! i'm going to really buckle down, and do things the right way. i hate when i'm bad at things, it makes me lose interest, so hopefully i can pick myself back up to where i was. i just hope it isn't too late to revive...
other than that...spent a lot of time with my Baby Ethan,
as for friday, it went by pretty fast. enjoyed the evening with the boy & his lovely family. the weather was beautiful. hope it lasts...!
i'm really trying to find that one thing that i'm overly passionate about, and i want to excel in it...i'm so impatient and its really wearing me out. i'm still feeling stagnant, and hoping to become a little more optimistic, so that i can get back to my normal self. seems like i don't laugh nearly as much, lately...that's definitely gotta change! maybe i'll pray more, that always seems to help.
time to hit the snooze button, and hopefully get back into my usual routine tomorrow.
liebe.
r.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
current.
Had a bad day again, said you would no understand. spilled the coffee broke a shoelace, smeared the lipstick on her face, slammed the door and said i'm sorry i, had a bad day again.
Pretty much today has been one of the worst days I've had in a while, and it wasn't even that bad. Started out decent, was doing well at work meeting my sales goals and taking it easy. Somehow I ended up out of balance, which means I'm facing possible termination. Hopefully we can get it cleared up, soon. This means I really need to pray that I get the job with the school.
My evening plans were cancelled, which was a bummer because I've always made an effort to put people first, and when they ditch me last minute it irritates me to a great extent. Agh! I went to a prayer group at my church. I got to discuss my current spiritual/emotional situation. Regarding all aspects of my life, I'm stagnant. Merely coasting along, feeling rather hopeless. I was more then willing to accept the advice that I was given, and will be applying it to my life as of now. Also, I got to say the closing prayer which is always fun :)
I live 10 miles away from where the Irving Stadium was. I was discussing the emotional attachment some Texans have with it, and the implosion. Someone I spoke with (can't remember who...) said that it was a great reminder to each of us, from God, to take a look at what empty lots we have in our lives. The Irving Stadium hasn't been used for a while now, but they left the hollow building standing until Sunday April 11th. I enjoyed going to my sister's house and to church, because I pass the stadium. Thinking about what empty buildings you have in your life, what is it that you pass by on a regular basis and isn't being used...? What are are you holding onto in your past? Its a nice thought. Time to implode them all, because chances are they could be whats holding you back in your life! Move on :)
In other news, I've given up facebook until next tuesday night. I'll be spending my usual facebook time in my room praying! I'm striving to pray more, that way I'll be stronger in my faith, and be able to make the right decisions that will push me to live out what God has planned for me.
I'm very much looking forward to Thursday. Girls day with Summer. We're going to have lunch at a new restaurant, and watch movies while the kids are at school. Of course baby Ethan will be with us! I love seeing my little scooter!
This is it.
-bee.
p.s.
I want something more.
Monday, April 12, 2010
hazed
I am SO impatient.
Its eating at my poor little soul. I'm feeling rather stagnant at this stage in my life. I'm at a point where nothing exciting is in view, and I'm merely coasting along. I hope this changes. I want something amazing to happen. I know I'm working towards my dreams right now, but I'm not seeing much progress. It is taking me 4 years to get a 2 year degree, mostly because of health issues. I want to see my hard work pay off...but I don't want to have to continue on this road where I'm not seeing any progress. I think I'm over analytical. Do most 20 year olds think of their future/goals this much? No. Most of them are out enjoying life, while I'm in my room typing up a spreadsheet of my intended salary after graduation...something is seriously wrong! However, while I'm in here planning my life, I am enjoying what I have. Today was a successful day. I spent time with my neighbor, mostly chatting it up. Took her daughter to run errands with me, had pizza and went bowling with my lovely friends. I really enjoyed that! I lost the game, and I suck at shooting pool, but overall I really enjoyed it. Then did some church stuff. Saw the boyfriend for about 10 minutes, he was stressing over his 2nd interview, which is tomorrow. I told him he deserves it, and I personally know that Heavenly Father sees his hard work, and will reward him for it. If not now, eventually. He works very hard, and is successful at what he does. I know that he has this! Keep him in your prayers. As for me and my job interview, I have not heard back. I hope to by Wednesday, Thursday at the latest. They asked me if I was bilingual, which I am not. I am thinking that if they don't hire me that will be the reason why. :sigh: should have taken Spanish in high school, instead of German. Ja! Nicht sehr klug! No regrets....! I saw the movie The Blindside, today. I enjoyed it. Its proof that we can truly overcome all obstacles that we face. We can find success if we keep our eyes opened, use the talents that we are blessed with, and focus! Loved it.
"Praise You In This Storm"
by Casting Crowns
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Sunday, April 11, 2010
covering.
pretty much...this weekend was insane.
lets start with the bad stuff, so i can get to the best part..
bad:
almost getting killed on the tollway. my car got stuck on cruise control going 65 mph, and i was exiting and went on a bridge, with a pretty sharp turn. i seriously thought my car was going to flip, my brakes wouldn't work and i was so scared. i'm so thankful that i was able to control my car...it was horrible.
k. so thats the bad "stuff"
had girl time w. michelle & lulu, ex-co-workers. talked about michelle's wedding plans, lulu's plans, and my mess :) haha. had starbucks, mi cocina for lunch, and walked around the shops at legacy. it was a blast! i really like plano.
after that, went to target to buy some shampoo and stuff... came home, cleaned my room & headed over to my sisters for the rest of the weekend. had chicken n rice for din, played with baby Ethan, and talked with my sisters. bro in law & another fam. member went to watch the implosion of the Irving Stadium, while i watched it with baby Ethan. then went to church and stuff :) had a grand ol time. watched ratatouille with the boyfriend. i love that movie.
as for this week, the boyfriend has his interview tomorrow and i'm seriously praying he gets the job.
hopefully i get the job teaching at the cfbisd elementary school, part time. praying that i hear from them as well.
i really loved church today. we read john 20:15, and sang some pretty good songs.
"You Shine"
Why should I feel mad,
When You made the heavens?
Why should I be afraid,
When You put the stars in place?
Why should I lose heart,
When I know how great you are?
Why should I give up,
When Your plans are full of love?
In this world we will have trouble,
But You have overcome the world!
You Shine,
Brighter than the brightest star!
Your Love,
Purer than the purest heart!
You Shine,
Filling us with courage and strength
To follow You!
When You made the heavens?
Why should I be afraid,
When You put the stars in place?
Why should I lose heart,
When I know how great you are?
Why should I give up,
When Your plans are full of love?
In this world we will have trouble,
But You have overcome the world!
You Shine,
Brighter than the brightest star!
Your Love,
Purer than the purest heart!
You Shine,
Filling us with courage and strength
To follow You!
Friday, April 9, 2010
opened.
E.G.O.
Everything Going Okay?
had a pretty nice day. went to an interview for the daycare/elementary school position. praying that i get this job (3hrs/day, so i would still work at the bank from 2-6) it would be a great way to get my foot in the door with the CFBISD. i'm very excited, and hoping to hear back from them soon. then filled up my gas tank ($33.48!) and went to my sisters. we baked a pineapple upside down cake, had buffalo wings & potato wedges, and played a game of scrabble. it was fun :) then i went to the boyfriends & made him dindin. taco salad & spanish rice. then came home, relaxed for a bit & went to my brothers bday party @ a mutual friends. i'm not much of a party-er/drinker its not really my thing. but i did enjoy watching them play beer-pong. its a pretty fun little game, or at least i think. haha. i just hung out and talked to a few people for a while then gave addie a hug and came home.
might lay out in my backyard tomorrow to try and get a tan started. can't afford to go to palm beach tan or a place like that, i'm cheap! not a fan of skin cancer, anyway.
hm. other than that, this weekend i'm going to a baby shower, lunch w.friends, church, church again, then six flags (maybe...depending on the price!) and i'm off on monday & back to work on tuesday...boo!
:)
say yer prayers!
loveyouuuuu.
beckerrrr
Everything Going Okay?
had a pretty nice day. went to an interview for the daycare/elementary school position. praying that i get this job (3hrs/day, so i would still work at the bank from 2-6) it would be a great way to get my foot in the door with the CFBISD. i'm very excited, and hoping to hear back from them soon. then filled up my gas tank ($33.48!) and went to my sisters. we baked a pineapple upside down cake, had buffalo wings & potato wedges, and played a game of scrabble. it was fun :) then i went to the boyfriends & made him dindin. taco salad & spanish rice. then came home, relaxed for a bit & went to my brothers bday party @ a mutual friends. i'm not much of a party-er/drinker its not really my thing. but i did enjoy watching them play beer-pong. its a pretty fun little game, or at least i think. haha. i just hung out and talked to a few people for a while then gave addie a hug and came home.
might lay out in my backyard tomorrow to try and get a tan started. can't afford to go to palm beach tan or a place like that, i'm cheap! not a fan of skin cancer, anyway.
hm. other than that, this weekend i'm going to a baby shower, lunch w.friends, church, church again, then six flags (maybe...depending on the price!) and i'm off on monday & back to work on tuesday...boo!
:)
say yer prayers!
loveyouuuuu.
beckerrrr
Thursday, April 8, 2010
fickled.
today was a pretty decent day. my 7th night of restless sleep. i did however manage to sneak in a good 2 hour nap. a few things about my day:
waited for waited seemed like eternity with my hopes up that the BCM would call the boyfriend to try & schedule an interview. no such luck. he should be having an interview sometime early next week, i'm praying so much that he lands this new job, its one step closer to where he wants to be with the bank, and its something he deserves so much. we had lunch, taco cabana :) i love food. and then went to car spa while his truck was getting cleaned. the girl there hooked it up with a $5 discount because i used to work with her @ sonic...haha see, i am good for something! after that the boyfriend played halo, while i took a nap haha. i played some games on his phone and somehow slipped into what felt like a powernap! then i got us dinner and watched him play some more halo.
i got a phone call from a CBISD rep who offered me an interview. not quite sure on what the position is, but i'm praying that i land this job. its part time, i'll be working with kids, and its one step towards me landing a job as a teacher when i graduate. if i don't get this job, i pray that someone who is qualified will get it, and will bless the children who are being taught. but i hope i am that person! hehe. i'm very thankful for the job that i have now, and i don't want to seem ungrateful :)
other than that, i'm about to lose another game of scrabble to my brother!
i've noted a few things that make me happy:
being with the boyfriend makes me want to be a better person, it makes me want to overcome my bad habits and become much more loving.
i like completing his sentences, which i do a lot. i guess i just really know him.
like when i grabbed dinner for us...it went something like this:
me: "what do you want for dinner son?"
boy: "mcdonalds sound-" me:" big mac no cheese fries and bbq sauce?" boy:"ahaha you know me so well"
haha. its the little things that make me laugh so hard my tummy hurts :)
friday is gonna be a busy day
lunch w/bro
dr appt @ 2
going to sisters @ 3
making pho for boyfriend
pay bills
go to walmart
and sweep/mop floors
* & if time permits: clean my car!
sat: baby shower, lunch w/ friends, maybe church @ the branch..i think they have a sat service..not too sure. & some fam time.
exciting :)
Romans 5:10
For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.
waited for waited seemed like eternity with my hopes up that the BCM would call the boyfriend to try & schedule an interview. no such luck. he should be having an interview sometime early next week, i'm praying so much that he lands this new job, its one step closer to where he wants to be with the bank, and its something he deserves so much. we had lunch, taco cabana :) i love food. and then went to car spa while his truck was getting cleaned. the girl there hooked it up with a $5 discount because i used to work with her @ sonic...haha see, i am good for something! after that the boyfriend played halo, while i took a nap haha. i played some games on his phone and somehow slipped into what felt like a powernap! then i got us dinner and watched him play some more halo.
i got a phone call from a CBISD rep who offered me an interview. not quite sure on what the position is, but i'm praying that i land this job. its part time, i'll be working with kids, and its one step towards me landing a job as a teacher when i graduate. if i don't get this job, i pray that someone who is qualified will get it, and will bless the children who are being taught. but i hope i am that person! hehe. i'm very thankful for the job that i have now, and i don't want to seem ungrateful :)
other than that, i'm about to lose another game of scrabble to my brother!
i've noted a few things that make me happy:
being with the boyfriend makes me want to be a better person, it makes me want to overcome my bad habits and become much more loving.
i like completing his sentences, which i do a lot. i guess i just really know him.
like when i grabbed dinner for us...it went something like this:
me: "what do you want for dinner son?"
boy: "mcdonalds sound-" me:" big mac no cheese fries and bbq sauce?" boy:"ahaha you know me so well"
haha. its the little things that make me laugh so hard my tummy hurts :)
friday is gonna be a busy day
lunch w/bro
dr appt @ 2
going to sisters @ 3
making pho for boyfriend
pay bills
go to walmart
and sweep/mop floors
* & if time permits: clean my car!
sat: baby shower, lunch w/ friends, maybe church @ the branch..i think they have a sat service..not too sure. & some fam time.
exciting :)
Romans 5:10
For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
parachutes.
open up your heart and then you're free.
not a whole lot to write about tonight. today i met with my adviser at school and i picked out what classes i'm taking this summer, and also selected a deadline of when i would like to transfer to a university. right now my university decision has been narrowed down to: TCU, DBU, UNT. all three are wonderful schools, fairly close to home (close enough to drive home and visit, but not so close that mom will be there everyday... haha jk i love my mom and would love her to visit me all the time!). I still have a while to make a final decision.
after that i tried to fix my tail light but apparently its an electrical/wiring problem. hoping to get it fixed very soon.
had dinner with the boy, finally got my appetite back! i've had 6 nights of restless, horrible sleep. hopefully i can get some quality sleep soon.
i've made some very big decisions/changes in my life this week.
mostly realizing a lot of things that i wasn't sure of.
i know that no matter what trials i am going through, God is my Heavenly Father, yesterday, today & forever. He is always listening to me, and guiding me. He teaches me something new everyday, and wants me to succeed. Jesus Christ is my Savior, He died for me, through His blood I am cleansed of my sins. I know that there are so many different denominations of Christianity, and that I am currently overwhelmed with trying to find not only what is real, but what Heavenly Father tells me is right. Its a real journey, but I know that no matter what, my faith in God & Jesus will keep me strong. The Light of Christ shines in the darkest moments, He is the King of Kings, the Beginning & the End. He is the perfect example of all that I am to be. I'm so blessed to know this, and to have this so close to my heart.
in other news, the boy applied for a job promotion at another location. there are 3 reasons why i so badly want this for him:
1. he works so hard, does more than what is required of him, and he does it well.
2. he has been patient with the current job situation, and i want him to be blessed/rewarded for that.
3. so i can start posting pics of us on facebook, haha.
we've been praying about it for a couple of weeks. i even put him on the prayer request list for it at church. please pray for him and this new opportunity!
a dear friend of mine is moving. i get the details later this week, but i'm most def not looking forward to it!
my birthday is less than a month away, and i've so selfishly composed the list of things i want:
-someone to pay for an oil change & fill up my tank haha.
-a new purse, somethin' fancy
-new tires for my car....yea that won't happen anytime soon
-brookhaven bookstore giftcards
-a new CD player for my car
most of these things i NEED. like the gas, the oil change, giftcard & tires...hahaha.
in all honesty i don't want anything :) just to be able to celebrate my 21st birthday with a good bill of health exceeds all materialistic desires!
i'm so blessed to have such a wonderful family. my brother & i had lunch together. then i played scrabble with my other bro, he won :( both times! Cheaterrr! my sisters are my best friends, my mom is my source of strength & comfort, and i also have a wonderful boyfriend! he makes me so happy :)
i ordered an car USB charger today on amazon.com for $6 w/free shipping. i'm way stoked because my phone is always dead...i usually forget to charge it. but now i don't have to worry about breaking down on the highway and having a dead battery because i spent 3 hours playing Words with Friends. haha!
Jeremiah 29:11
(NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I really love this verse. Whenever I'm unsure about how things are going I take a moment to think about this. Even though I have no idea what is in store for me, I know that by trusting in the Lord, and the plan He has laid before me, I will be safe.
- i rarely use NIV, i prefer KJV. but for this verse i like this translation a bit better. -
bexx
not a whole lot to write about tonight. today i met with my adviser at school and i picked out what classes i'm taking this summer, and also selected a deadline of when i would like to transfer to a university. right now my university decision has been narrowed down to: TCU, DBU, UNT. all three are wonderful schools, fairly close to home (close enough to drive home and visit, but not so close that mom will be there everyday... haha jk i love my mom and would love her to visit me all the time!). I still have a while to make a final decision.
after that i tried to fix my tail light but apparently its an electrical/wiring problem. hoping to get it fixed very soon.
had dinner with the boy, finally got my appetite back! i've had 6 nights of restless, horrible sleep. hopefully i can get some quality sleep soon.
i've made some very big decisions/changes in my life this week.
mostly realizing a lot of things that i wasn't sure of.
i know that no matter what trials i am going through, God is my Heavenly Father, yesterday, today & forever. He is always listening to me, and guiding me. He teaches me something new everyday, and wants me to succeed. Jesus Christ is my Savior, He died for me, through His blood I am cleansed of my sins. I know that there are so many different denominations of Christianity, and that I am currently overwhelmed with trying to find not only what is real, but what Heavenly Father tells me is right. Its a real journey, but I know that no matter what, my faith in God & Jesus will keep me strong. The Light of Christ shines in the darkest moments, He is the King of Kings, the Beginning & the End. He is the perfect example of all that I am to be. I'm so blessed to know this, and to have this so close to my heart.
in other news, the boy applied for a job promotion at another location. there are 3 reasons why i so badly want this for him:
1. he works so hard, does more than what is required of him, and he does it well.
2. he has been patient with the current job situation, and i want him to be blessed/rewarded for that.
3. so i can start posting pics of us on facebook, haha.
we've been praying about it for a couple of weeks. i even put him on the prayer request list for it at church. please pray for him and this new opportunity!
a dear friend of mine is moving. i get the details later this week, but i'm most def not looking forward to it!
my birthday is less than a month away, and i've so selfishly composed the list of things i want:
-someone to pay for an oil change & fill up my tank haha.
-a new purse, somethin' fancy
-new tires for my car....yea that won't happen anytime soon
-brookhaven bookstore giftcards
-a new CD player for my car
most of these things i NEED. like the gas, the oil change, giftcard & tires...hahaha.
in all honesty i don't want anything :) just to be able to celebrate my 21st birthday with a good bill of health exceeds all materialistic desires!
i'm so blessed to have such a wonderful family. my brother & i had lunch together. then i played scrabble with my other bro, he won :( both times! Cheaterrr! my sisters are my best friends, my mom is my source of strength & comfort, and i also have a wonderful boyfriend! he makes me so happy :)
i ordered an car USB charger today on amazon.com for $6 w/free shipping. i'm way stoked because my phone is always dead...i usually forget to charge it. but now i don't have to worry about breaking down on the highway and having a dead battery because i spent 3 hours playing Words with Friends. haha!
Jeremiah 29:11
(NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I really love this verse. Whenever I'm unsure about how things are going I take a moment to think about this. Even though I have no idea what is in store for me, I know that by trusting in the Lord, and the plan He has laid before me, I will be safe.
- i rarely use NIV, i prefer KJV. but for this verse i like this translation a bit better. -
bexx
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
power
ok seriously..
i love when i pray and its answered immediately! i never ever expect instant results...but today was just beyond amazing!
i went to prayer group at the church (which used to be the Bible study that i created, somehow, over the course of 1 year it has transformed into prayer group, which is amazing!) tonight around 6, i got there way early because i was avoiding traffic so i picked up some snacks and jammed out to 94.9 until others started arriving. we did the usual which is : socialize, share our praises, how our prayer life is, and other positive things. then we eat and then take prayer request. after that we go in a circle and each of us pray out loud for whatever we'd like to. its really good and its helped me get more comfortable in praying out loud, and for others. so tonight i prayed for a relative. lo and behold! i got to hug that relative moments ago! what a relief! i'm so thankful that Heavenly Father listened to me, and answered my prayer! it may seem like a simple little thing, a coincidence to some, but for me it was an answer :)
i love love love it!
Makes me so incredibly happy :)
Jesus loves you <3
forever You are with us, forever You are strong.
i love when i pray and its answered immediately! i never ever expect instant results...but today was just beyond amazing!
i went to prayer group at the church (which used to be the Bible study that i created, somehow, over the course of 1 year it has transformed into prayer group, which is amazing!) tonight around 6, i got there way early because i was avoiding traffic so i picked up some snacks and jammed out to 94.9 until others started arriving. we did the usual which is : socialize, share our praises, how our prayer life is, and other positive things. then we eat and then take prayer request. after that we go in a circle and each of us pray out loud for whatever we'd like to. its really good and its helped me get more comfortable in praying out loud, and for others. so tonight i prayed for a relative. lo and behold! i got to hug that relative moments ago! what a relief! i'm so thankful that Heavenly Father listened to me, and answered my prayer! it may seem like a simple little thing, a coincidence to some, but for me it was an answer :)
i love love love it!
Makes me so incredibly happy :)
Jesus loves you <3
forever You are with us, forever You are strong.
Monday, April 5, 2010
lyrics.
I've thrown it all away that I might gain a life in You
I've found all else is loss compared to the joys of knowing You
Your beauty and Your majesty are far beyond compare
You've won my heart, now this will be my prayer
Take the world, but give me Jesus
You're the treasure in this life
Take the world, but give me Jesus
Is my cry
Now I've seen You as the Savior, I will leave the rest behind
Take the world, but give me Jesus is my cry
Into the world I go that I might live this life of love
I won't be overcome, for You are in me and You are strong
For time and for eternity, I know I'm in Your care
You've won my heart, now this will be my prayer
I've found all else is loss compared to the joys of knowing You
Your beauty and Your majesty are far beyond compare
You've won my heart, now this will be my prayer
Take the world, but give me Jesus
You're the treasure in this life
Take the world, but give me Jesus
Is my cry
Now I've seen You as the Savior, I will leave the rest behind
Take the world, but give me Jesus is my cry
Into the world I go that I might live this life of love
I won't be overcome, for You are in me and You are strong
For time and for eternity, I know I'm in Your care
You've won my heart, now this will be my prayer
Sunday, April 4, 2010
formula
its amazing how quickly life changes. it seems like right when you get settled in, another earthquake hits. our emotions can change so drastically due to an unfamiliar situation, and it can turn into a domino effect of changes in our lives. no one ever said this was easy...if it were easy, how would we progress? i'm so thankful for this amazing knowledge that i've received on my journey.
the effects of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ are visible each and every day. we are able to pray to our Heavenly Father, we are able to truly repent, and be forgiven. we live because of the divine example of faith that was laid before us. On the third day, He rose again. The Son of God, the Messiah, Savior, Redeemer, Alpha & Omega, Beginning & End, Prince of Peace, Advocate, Deliverer, Bridegroom, Hope of Glory. God's grace continues to set us free, He gave His only begotten Son so that we may have eternal life. Jesus Christ suffered alone, so that we will never have to. Just as Jesus promised to rise again, He promises other things through out the scriptures, such as forgiveness, strength, saving grace, love, and blessings of plenty, He is the same yesterday, today & forever. He will keep His promises, if we strive to remain faithful. the Resurrection is about so much more than Him coming to life again, He conquered death, there are no chains to bind Him, He is above all. He is Holy. He is perfect, and as a Christian (meaning to be Christ-like) we too must strive for perfection, we will never achieve it here, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but if we have sincere faith, engage in meaningful prayer & repent, we will someday be perfect.
i am a loved daughter of God, and that statement alone means so much more than one may think.
my Easter sunday was wonderful. lots of family time, prayer, nice lunch & dinner, decent weather... couldn't have asked for a better group of people to share it with.
love.
B.
the effects of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ are visible each and every day. we are able to pray to our Heavenly Father, we are able to truly repent, and be forgiven. we live because of the divine example of faith that was laid before us. On the third day, He rose again. The Son of God, the Messiah, Savior, Redeemer, Alpha & Omega, Beginning & End, Prince of Peace, Advocate, Deliverer, Bridegroom, Hope of Glory. God's grace continues to set us free, He gave His only begotten Son so that we may have eternal life. Jesus Christ suffered alone, so that we will never have to. Just as Jesus promised to rise again, He promises other things through out the scriptures, such as forgiveness, strength, saving grace, love, and blessings of plenty, He is the same yesterday, today & forever. He will keep His promises, if we strive to remain faithful. the Resurrection is about so much more than Him coming to life again, He conquered death, there are no chains to bind Him, He is above all. He is Holy. He is perfect, and as a Christian (meaning to be Christ-like) we too must strive for perfection, we will never achieve it here, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but if we have sincere faith, engage in meaningful prayer & repent, we will someday be perfect.
i am a loved daughter of God, and that statement alone means so much more than one may think.
my Easter sunday was wonderful. lots of family time, prayer, nice lunch & dinner, decent weather... couldn't have asked for a better group of people to share it with.
love.
B.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
osterreich.
first off,
i love my friends. they are amazing. letting me come over at 12pm to re bake my cupcakes :)
i've been blessed with such wonderful people.
spent the day with my boys (Adrian, Gavin & Ethan) and Summer. we had a very nice time at church, the kids enjoyed it & Adrian found the most eggs, 54! Very nice! Gavin found a kitten, no, it wasn't in an egg. ha ha. had lunch at church, baked some horrible cupcakes (didn't measure correctly...i was in a rush!) finally went and bought a beautiful dress for Easter. then someone *not naming names* had to point out how flat it makes my chest look. Well, I hope people aren't staring there anyways! so yesss. it was a wonderful day. took 2 naps with Baby Ethan, all snuggled up. fed him twice, burped him :) it was so cute, he had the hiccups for almost 20 minutes and after each one he just laughed so much. children are so precious!
so, re baked cupcakes!
delish!
off to bed :)
Posting the importance of Easter later on.
For God
so loved the world
that he gave his one and only Son,
that whoever believes in him
shall not perish but have
eternal life.
Max Lucado described it as
"A twenty-six-word parade of hope: beginning with God, ending
with life, and urging us to do the same."
love it. :)
i love my friends. they are amazing. letting me come over at 12pm to re bake my cupcakes :)
i've been blessed with such wonderful people.
spent the day with my boys (Adrian, Gavin & Ethan) and Summer. we had a very nice time at church, the kids enjoyed it & Adrian found the most eggs, 54! Very nice! Gavin found a kitten, no, it wasn't in an egg. ha ha. had lunch at church, baked some horrible cupcakes (didn't measure correctly...i was in a rush!) finally went and bought a beautiful dress for Easter. then someone *not naming names* had to point out how flat it makes my chest look. Well, I hope people aren't staring there anyways! so yesss. it was a wonderful day. took 2 naps with Baby Ethan, all snuggled up. fed him twice, burped him :) it was so cute, he had the hiccups for almost 20 minutes and after each one he just laughed so much. children are so precious!
so, re baked cupcakes!
delish!
off to bed :)
Posting the importance of Easter later on.
For God
so loved the world
that he gave his one and only Son,
that whoever believes in him
shall not perish but have
eternal life.
Max Lucado described it as
"A twenty-six-word parade of hope: beginning with God, ending
with life, and urging us to do the same."
love it. :)
Friday, April 2, 2010
latter.
To sum up today's events:
OH MY GOSH.
i'm exhausted. was awake from 4 am to now, gonna sleep before 11 tonight. work was super slow, and i pretty much stood there promoting our bake sale. it was fun. we had a regular customer come in, and he collapsed and passed out. he has an usual health background, and i was so shook up from this early morning event. i'm asking for prayer for him, a speedy recovery, and for his family.
i was fasting today, and the bake sale wasn't even tempting. had a nice dinner with the boyfriend and his fam...for some reason i get so nervous and shut down. i'm working on it. dinner was delish! snuggled with the boy for like 10 min, then decided to head home early. i'm off tomorrow, so i'll be spending the day baking/decorating cupcakes, and at church with my little family!
not blogging too much tonight, eyes are about to close.
<3
OH MY GOSH.
i'm exhausted. was awake from 4 am to now, gonna sleep before 11 tonight. work was super slow, and i pretty much stood there promoting our bake sale. it was fun. we had a regular customer come in, and he collapsed and passed out. he has an usual health background, and i was so shook up from this early morning event. i'm asking for prayer for him, a speedy recovery, and for his family.
i was fasting today, and the bake sale wasn't even tempting. had a nice dinner with the boyfriend and his fam...for some reason i get so nervous and shut down. i'm working on it. dinner was delish! snuggled with the boy for like 10 min, then decided to head home early. i'm off tomorrow, so i'll be spending the day baking/decorating cupcakes, and at church with my little family!
not blogging too much tonight, eyes are about to close.
<3
zwei.
day 2 of new routine:
(this is what i'm hoping it will look like...)
wake up three hours before I have to get to work or school. - i can take my time with treatments & getting ready, without being late.
pray. read the bible. listen to worship music.
relax in bed for about 10-15 min.
take vitamins & other meds
stretch for 10 min.
run or walk 1/2 mi. (since i'm usually low on energy i dont want to waste too much this early, so a light walk/jog/run will wake me up and get my body going, but not over exhaust me)
treatments immediately after run (it helps me catch my breath, and i feel like the treatment helps more)- blog while doing treatments :)
drink a glass of water no rule: no DP until after 1230pm, and no dp after 11pm, limit 12 oz per day.
plan meals for the day, pick out clothes for the day, tidy up room, and get ready for work.
after work try to sneak in an extra albuterol
take vitamins
whatever evening activities i have are no to last past 11pm. i need to be getting ready for bed by 1130...rush rush!
before bed: stretch run 1 mi run 1/2 mi sprint 1/2 mi jog 1/2 walk relax drink water do treatments
repeat 6 days per week. sundays schedule isn't figured out just yet...
today it has been going pretty well :)
(this is what i'm hoping it will look like...)
wake up three hours before I have to get to work or school. - i can take my time with treatments & getting ready, without being late.
pray. read the bible. listen to worship music.
relax in bed for about 10-15 min.
take vitamins & other meds
stretch for 10 min.
run or walk 1/2 mi. (since i'm usually low on energy i dont want to waste too much this early, so a light walk/jog/run will wake me up and get my body going, but not over exhaust me)
treatments immediately after run (it helps me catch my breath, and i feel like the treatment helps more)- blog while doing treatments :)
drink a glass of water no rule: no DP until after 1230pm, and no dp after 11pm, limit 12 oz per day.
plan meals for the day, pick out clothes for the day, tidy up room, and get ready for work.
after work try to sneak in an extra albuterol
take vitamins
whatever evening activities i have are no to last past 11pm. i need to be getting ready for bed by 1130...rush rush!
before bed: stretch run 1 mi run 1/2 mi sprint 1/2 mi jog 1/2 walk relax drink water do treatments
repeat 6 days per week. sundays schedule isn't figured out just yet...
today it has been going pretty well :)
wandering.
Sometimes I get so flustered and stressed out by thinking about my life. I like to plan. I'm lying. I LOVE to plan. I have a day to day planner in my car, a monthly calendar, and a to do list calendar in my purse at all times. I like to wake up knowing what I need to get done, and what I can do in addition to my priorities. I like to skip ahead and do things sooner then they need to be done. Like paying my bills, I pay a month and a half ahead, and I pay them at the same time every pay day. Its routine. I guess the bank has partly contributed to this personality trait because I have to request days off at least a month in advanced. At first it was a hassle to schedule appointments and such, but now I've grown to love it. You give me a date for two months down the road, and I can tell you exactly where I'll be that day. The problem with this is that not everyone likes to plan. Most of my friends are what I call "last minute barbecuers" (ahahha) because I often get a text at 7 pm saying "Hey! We're having a barbecue, see you at 730?" And I'm like, yeah let me know at least two hours ago. haha. I don't expect other people to be like me, and I love the diversity, but sometimes it causes me stress. People want to spend the day with me and I always ask "what are we going to do?" usual response: "play it by ear" However, lately I've adjusted to this whole "play it by ear" thing. I'm fine with it, mostly because I'm indecisive on where to eat/what movie to see/ what to do...it kind of makes things a little more exciting, I suppose. I really sound like an old boring maid...the highlight of my life: an unplanned day..
haha.
So, where I was going with this was:
Life is just so unpredictable! You really have to be strong in faith just to get by! Last week I didn't think I would miss 4 days of work & go to the ER, but I did. That was NOT in my agenda! If I didn't trust my Lord & Savior, where would I be? Would I be stuck in last weeks misery? I can plan as much as I'd like for my future, and I can think I have control over it, but in all actuality its not up to me. Whether or not I wake up, go to work, go to school, walk, eat, breathe, its all up to Him.
January was a very hard month for my sister, Summer. Gavin (her middle child 6yrs) was diagnosed with CF in late December, she was due to have Baby Ethan on Jan 19th, and had Adrian (8 yr old son) to take care of. We prayed a lot during this month. Gavin was admitted to Children's for IVs and other treatments to determine his baseline, Adrian still wanted to attend church activities, and Ethan was on his way. Each day was harder, especially towards the birth of Ethan. She was visiting Gavin in the hospital, we didn't want to leave him unattended, she was sharing a car with her hubby Fabian, and trying to get him to work, taking Adrian to school, to church, and basic care for him. A mom, a sister, a wife, a cf caregiver, and pregnant. Looking back on that month, we had no control over anything. Gavin wasn't expected to be admitted, and I know she was very scared. I don't know how she made it through, well yeah I do. haha! Her faith is amazing. She prays a lot, really listens at church, gets involved, and she just has an uplifting spirit to her. January has come and gone, and her life has a new routine. I'm so impressed by her accomplishments through her faith. Not only in January, but all the time. Whatever it is that you're worrying about just pray! It really does make a difference! Heavenly Father knows each of us, and loves us, He wants us to reach out to Him, so we can be edified and blessed. I know its hard to trust someone 100%..but at least try.
iTunes is on shuffle, and Jesus take the wheel, by Carrie Underwood just came on. Perfect:
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Its Good Friday. Some Christians may spend this day in fasting, prayer, repentance, and meditation, in remembrance of Christ suffering on the cross.
How amazing is it that God loves us so much, He gave His only Son to suffer for our sins. We have all sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God, but because of the Saviors cleansing power, we are renewed. We can repent, and become whole again.
I am a loved daughter of God, Jesus Christ is my Savior, Hope everyone enjoys this Good Friday, and can gear their minds towards the significance of this weekend.
.rrr
haha.
So, where I was going with this was:
Life is just so unpredictable! You really have to be strong in faith just to get by! Last week I didn't think I would miss 4 days of work & go to the ER, but I did. That was NOT in my agenda! If I didn't trust my Lord & Savior, where would I be? Would I be stuck in last weeks misery? I can plan as much as I'd like for my future, and I can think I have control over it, but in all actuality its not up to me. Whether or not I wake up, go to work, go to school, walk, eat, breathe, its all up to Him.
January was a very hard month for my sister, Summer. Gavin (her middle child 6yrs) was diagnosed with CF in late December, she was due to have Baby Ethan on Jan 19th, and had Adrian (8 yr old son) to take care of. We prayed a lot during this month. Gavin was admitted to Children's for IVs and other treatments to determine his baseline, Adrian still wanted to attend church activities, and Ethan was on his way. Each day was harder, especially towards the birth of Ethan. She was visiting Gavin in the hospital, we didn't want to leave him unattended, she was sharing a car with her hubby Fabian, and trying to get him to work, taking Adrian to school, to church, and basic care for him. A mom, a sister, a wife, a cf caregiver, and pregnant. Looking back on that month, we had no control over anything. Gavin wasn't expected to be admitted, and I know she was very scared. I don't know how she made it through, well yeah I do. haha! Her faith is amazing. She prays a lot, really listens at church, gets involved, and she just has an uplifting spirit to her. January has come and gone, and her life has a new routine. I'm so impressed by her accomplishments through her faith. Not only in January, but all the time. Whatever it is that you're worrying about just pray! It really does make a difference! Heavenly Father knows each of us, and loves us, He wants us to reach out to Him, so we can be edified and blessed. I know its hard to trust someone 100%..but at least try.
iTunes is on shuffle, and Jesus take the wheel, by Carrie Underwood just came on. Perfect:
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Its Good Friday. Some Christians may spend this day in fasting, prayer, repentance, and meditation, in remembrance of Christ suffering on the cross.
How amazing is it that God loves us so much, He gave His only Son to suffer for our sins. We have all sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God, but because of the Saviors cleansing power, we are renewed. We can repent, and become whole again.
I am a loved daughter of God, Jesus Christ is my Savior, Hope everyone enjoys this Good Friday, and can gear their minds towards the significance of this weekend.
.rrr
Thursday, April 1, 2010
nourishment.
Wow! What a wonderful day.
Started out by sleeping in, woke up at 945. Ran some errands, went to about 7 different stores looking for an Easter dress. I guess I'm just old fashioned, and out of style, because everything was either really short, really low cut, really hideous, or accentuated my hips a little too much...Hopefully I'll find something, soon! Shopping is way too frustrating for me, I got hot and irritated...other than that I found some really great shoes at Dots Clothing store, sandals for $5, they're brown and have turquoise designs. Grabbed some nice cargo shorts from the kids section at Target, for $3! I guess there are some perks to being 5'0 & weighing 105lb!
After shopping, I met up with the boyfriend, and played a round of golf. Not so well, I had one good shot. For some reason he makes me really nervous and I felt so rushed I was just goofing off. Hoping to hit the course next week, while I'm on vacay! It was extremely windy, which may have contributed to my careless attitude, wasn't familiar with the course either. I can play pretty decently, but I just can't focus with him watching me, I guess because I'm sure he's better then me and analyzing my every stance, swing and everything else...hm. After that, continued the Easter dress search, didn't succeed. Had dinner with my brother Matt. I love having him home! 4 years of him being gone... we've spent so much time together. After dinner we ran a few errands and decided to hit the track. He ran 4mi in 23 minutes...I ran 3 in 33 minutes. haha. its a start. I was so close to giving up, and I was feeling really discouraged thinking.. I want to run a half marathon but can't even do a 3 mi... I really just turned my eyes to the sky and repeated Phillipians 4:13 over and over, and ended up doing a full sprint, 1/2 of a mi, and was done. It felt so good. In case I failed to mention it, I'm testing my faith and strength by doing simple, yet insane things. For example: #1 : Wednesday April 7th: Buffalo Wild Wings Blazin' Challenge. 12 habanero wings in 6 minutes, no water, no ranch, no touching your face. I don't think I can do it, but I will. because its worth a shot. #2 is going to be (simple for many, hard for me and my lungs..) hold my breath for 2 minutes, underwater. #3 1/2 marathon in October. I know this is totally silly, and I will probably add more ridiculous things to this list, but it is going to create my testimony of Phil 4:13...people probably think I'm dumb. But I'm just pushing myself to do the things I would never do. Or ever care to do, for that matter! ahha! habanero..ugh!
its almost Easter weekend! YAY!
So! I'm listening to God of this City by Christ Tomlin.
A wonderful song! Making a late night run to Sonic, then taking a shower and getting to bed early. Starting a new routine today, consists of doing lung treatments, vitamins, sleeping, eating and stuff at a decent hour, day after day. Hoping it will help.
Love,
Beckyyy.
Started out by sleeping in, woke up at 945. Ran some errands, went to about 7 different stores looking for an Easter dress. I guess I'm just old fashioned, and out of style, because everything was either really short, really low cut, really hideous, or accentuated my hips a little too much...Hopefully I'll find something, soon! Shopping is way too frustrating for me, I got hot and irritated...other than that I found some really great shoes at Dots Clothing store, sandals for $5, they're brown and have turquoise designs. Grabbed some nice cargo shorts from the kids section at Target, for $3! I guess there are some perks to being 5'0 & weighing 105lb!
After shopping, I met up with the boyfriend, and played a round of golf. Not so well, I had one good shot. For some reason he makes me really nervous and I felt so rushed I was just goofing off. Hoping to hit the course next week, while I'm on vacay! It was extremely windy, which may have contributed to my careless attitude, wasn't familiar with the course either. I can play pretty decently, but I just can't focus with him watching me, I guess because I'm sure he's better then me and analyzing my every stance, swing and everything else...hm. After that, continued the Easter dress search, didn't succeed. Had dinner with my brother Matt. I love having him home! 4 years of him being gone... we've spent so much time together. After dinner we ran a few errands and decided to hit the track. He ran 4mi in 23 minutes...I ran 3 in 33 minutes. haha. its a start. I was so close to giving up, and I was feeling really discouraged thinking.. I want to run a half marathon but can't even do a 3 mi... I really just turned my eyes to the sky and repeated Phillipians 4:13 over and over, and ended up doing a full sprint, 1/2 of a mi, and was done. It felt so good. In case I failed to mention it, I'm testing my faith and strength by doing simple, yet insane things. For example: #1 : Wednesday April 7th: Buffalo Wild Wings Blazin' Challenge. 12 habanero wings in 6 minutes, no water, no ranch, no touching your face. I don't think I can do it, but I will. because its worth a shot. #2 is going to be (simple for many, hard for me and my lungs..) hold my breath for 2 minutes, underwater. #3 1/2 marathon in October. I know this is totally silly, and I will probably add more ridiculous things to this list, but it is going to create my testimony of Phil 4:13...people probably think I'm dumb. But I'm just pushing myself to do the things I would never do. Or ever care to do, for that matter! ahha! habanero..ugh!
its almost Easter weekend! YAY!
So! I'm listening to God of this City by Christ Tomlin.
A wonderful song! Making a late night run to Sonic, then taking a shower and getting to bed early. Starting a new routine today, consists of doing lung treatments, vitamins, sleeping, eating and stuff at a decent hour, day after day. Hoping it will help.
Love,
Beckyyy.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
assembly.
I've always enjoyed driving on the highway, windows down, warm wind flowing through, and listening to worship songs. It makes me feel so alive, and grateful for all that I have in my life.
Lately I've been feeling slightly down due to a few things, nothing too serious. a song on 94.9 really comforted me, its by Amy Grant, and officially on my favorites list!
lyrics:
It takes a little time sometimes
To get your feet back on the ground
It takes a little time sometimes
To get the titanic turned back around
It takes a little time sometimes
But baby you're not going down
It takes more than you've got right now
Give it time
I've been praying for patience. . . patience in faith, success, and pretty much every other aspect of my life. It's so hard to let God handle it all, but I'm on the road to submission.
I enjoyed a nice evening at church with my nephews & sisters. We talked about the significance of Easter. The criticism and doubts that people had in Jesus as the Messiah back then are still around today. Many non-Christians will ask me "if God & Jesus really did exist, why are people still suffering?" You can refer to Luke for the comments that were made, the day that Jesus was on the cross. "And saying, If thou be the king of the Jews, save thyself." (23:37) If we knew no pain, would ever know joy? In my opinion we have to experience the sadness to know happiness, and vice verse. Everyone here has a purpose, we may not know or see it now, and we may be confused, hurt, and lose faith in our Savior if we do not see His saving grace around us. We are here to be tested, we will all have our doubts at some point. And that is ok. Its ok to ask questions, to lose faith, to surrender, but through out it all remember to pray for the answers, faith and strength.
My PFTs (for those who don't know, PFTs are pulmonary function tests, measures the lung volume and a few other things.) were at 104%. which is extremely good for someone my age, with CF. The last 3 appointments they were at 99%, which concerned me. I was afraid that since I had pneumonia, the flu and a virus (within 3 months...) there was permanent damage. I was so relieved! I am truly blessed! So, in celebration of my healthy lungs, I am committed to running a half marathon. I will start training next week, and continue until October. Even if don't make it to the end, which I'm fully aware that I may not, I will still be proud of myself for trying. 13.1 miles is a lot. The most I've ever run was 7 miles, and I wanted to sleep for three weeks after that. I'm going to pray, train and take my meds the right way until this half marathon is as easy as a slice of cake. I'm so excited. I'm going to make a shirt for when I work out, that has Philippians 4:13 on it as a reminder of my source of strength!
I'm so incredibly excited for Easter, Saturday with my wonderful family, & Sunday with the boyfriends amazing family.
on a side note: i love to pray. it really is amazing to just sit and pray, or kneel and pray. the feeling, the spirit that i feel, is so rejuvenating and comforting. it's important to engage in meaningful prayer. not just praying because you feel obligated to, or because its routine. pray because you want to deepen the connection with Heavenly Father. plead for understanding, wisdom, a sense of direction, and help with the things you cannot do alone. i start my prayers off by giving thanks. thanks for the wonderful weather, my family, my faith, my job, health, etc., and i always close with "& in the name of Thy Son, Jesus Christ, Amen" idk why i say Thy... I just do. haha. i'm always the first to raise my hand to lead prayer...always looking for an opportunity :)
loveloveloveit.
"Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. "
Romans 6:8-11
-becker.
Lately I've been feeling slightly down due to a few things, nothing too serious. a song on 94.9 really comforted me, its by Amy Grant, and officially on my favorites list!
lyrics:
It takes a little time sometimes
To get your feet back on the ground
It takes a little time sometimes
To get the titanic turned back around
It takes a little time sometimes
But baby you're not going down
It takes more than you've got right now
Give it time
I've been praying for patience. . . patience in faith, success, and pretty much every other aspect of my life. It's so hard to let God handle it all, but I'm on the road to submission.
I enjoyed a nice evening at church with my nephews & sisters. We talked about the significance of Easter. The criticism and doubts that people had in Jesus as the Messiah back then are still around today. Many non-Christians will ask me "if God & Jesus really did exist, why are people still suffering?" You can refer to Luke for the comments that were made, the day that Jesus was on the cross. "And saying, If thou be the king of the Jews, save thyself." (23:37) If we knew no pain, would ever know joy? In my opinion we have to experience the sadness to know happiness, and vice verse. Everyone here has a purpose, we may not know or see it now, and we may be confused, hurt, and lose faith in our Savior if we do not see His saving grace around us. We are here to be tested, we will all have our doubts at some point. And that is ok. Its ok to ask questions, to lose faith, to surrender, but through out it all remember to pray for the answers, faith and strength.
My PFTs (for those who don't know, PFTs are pulmonary function tests, measures the lung volume and a few other things.) were at 104%. which is extremely good for someone my age, with CF. The last 3 appointments they were at 99%, which concerned me. I was afraid that since I had pneumonia, the flu and a virus (within 3 months...) there was permanent damage. I was so relieved! I am truly blessed! So, in celebration of my healthy lungs, I am committed to running a half marathon. I will start training next week, and continue until October. Even if don't make it to the end, which I'm fully aware that I may not, I will still be proud of myself for trying. 13.1 miles is a lot. The most I've ever run was 7 miles, and I wanted to sleep for three weeks after that. I'm going to pray, train and take my meds the right way until this half marathon is as easy as a slice of cake. I'm so excited. I'm going to make a shirt for when I work out, that has Philippians 4:13 on it as a reminder of my source of strength!
I'm so incredibly excited for Easter, Saturday with my wonderful family, & Sunday with the boyfriends amazing family.
on a side note: i love to pray. it really is amazing to just sit and pray, or kneel and pray. the feeling, the spirit that i feel, is so rejuvenating and comforting. it's important to engage in meaningful prayer. not just praying because you feel obligated to, or because its routine. pray because you want to deepen the connection with Heavenly Father. plead for understanding, wisdom, a sense of direction, and help with the things you cannot do alone. i start my prayers off by giving thanks. thanks for the wonderful weather, my family, my faith, my job, health, etc., and i always close with "& in the name of Thy Son, Jesus Christ, Amen" idk why i say Thy... I just do. haha. i'm always the first to raise my hand to lead prayer...always looking for an opportunity :)
loveloveloveit.
"Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. "
Romans 6:8-11
-becker.
Monday, March 29, 2010
restoration.
I really want to play a round of golf, I wish I wouldn't have hurt my shoulders during last semester's final round. Not like I was a pro, but I enjoyed the sport.
What do you do for fun? I enjoy spending time with my family, usually at the park, church, dollar theatres, hangin' out at the house, birthday parties and singstar/guitar hero parties. I like hanging out with my friends from church, and school. Usually a movie, or dinner. Spending time with the boyfriend is always fun. a nice manicure/pedicure, Lifetime movies...yesss. I'm that type of person!
1980's themed singstar party
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Tell me three words your friends would use to describe you. Christian, Loud, Friendly.
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What kind of movies do you like? What is your favorite movie?I'm not really into movies, except recently. I liked Cloudy w/a chance of meatballs...P.S. I love you, and the Notebook.
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What kind of books and/or magazines do you like? What is the last book or magazine you read? The bible was the last thing I read. I like Christian based books, Edgar Allan Poe short stories, and a few others I can't think of. the red one is my first bible :) i still read it!
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If you won the lottery, how would you spend it? First: I would tithe off of it :) then buy my mama a new car, make the necessary repairs needed. Save most of it. Give the rest to the CFF.
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What kind of music do you listen to? Do you have a favorite musician or band?I listen to EVERYTHING. From Elvis to Zeppelin, Hootie & the Blowfish to Mariah Carey, T.I. to Taylor Swift, and Hillsong United. Michael W. Smith is a personal fav. " You are Holy (Prince of Peace)" :) :)
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What are the most important qualities you are looking for in a friend or significant other?A genuinely nice person, down to earth, faith, strong willed, patient, loving, happy & independent. must enjoy being with family.
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What would you cook if you were having friends or family over for dinner? I found this really yummy recipe for Dr Pepper ribs, might have to try it out soon. Either that or egg rolls & rice- my current cooking obsession.
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Which is your favorite season and why? I like the transition from Summer to Fall. I can't pick...both have their perks.
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Do you like to travel and where have you been? Love to travel. Germany, France, Hawai'i, Oklahoma, Florida, NJ.
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What place would you like to visit that you haven't been to yet?Jamaica. I've always wanted to go there and try some bread fruit.
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What is your most prized possession? uh. does family count as a possession? if not, then my car. Little reliable Nemo.
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Would you consider yourself a morning person or a night person and why? Both. depending on what I have to do. If its for school/work- morning person. If I have to wake up and rush somewhere without planning, most def not a morning person. I like staying up late, too.
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How would you describe a perfect date? going to church would be ideal :) hah. i'm weird. uhm really anything :)
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Do you have any pets? What kind of pets? Negative. Had to get ready of my Lil' Frankie.
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What are you most passionate about? Spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ, Curing CF & everything in between!
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If you could do any job you wanted to, what would it be? I'd be in the military, something linguistic. Either that, or a stay at home mom. Does that count?
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Who do you most admire and why? My mama. She is just amazing, a beautiful woman who has always worked hard, and prayed even harder.
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What's your idea of a great vacation? Going to New York sounds pleasing.
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If you could live anywhere other than here, where would it be and why? Garbsen Germany, fresh air, lots of clear land, my horses & my family <3>
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What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you? Oh so many things. 2007, in Berlin. You had to be there...hilarious. Pretty much a lot of funny things have happened to me :)
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What hobbies do you have? play the guitar, writing, drawing, water color painting, photography (just started this one) and volunteer work.
1st place in pastels tx state comp. @ plano senior high
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Which of your achievements are you most proud? Oh. ya know, this is kind of hard for me. Mostly just being here today, the small things in life that I've overcome. :)
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What do you think is the most important value in a relationship or friendship? Christ like love.
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What holiday do you enjoy the most and how do you celebrate it? Christmas, Luke Chapter 2 Best thing ever. The start of something amazing, most def worth observing. Love spending it with my family & friends. I also love 4th of July, a personal fav. Good food, celebrating what we do have, paying tribute to our soliders, spending it with the family outside with fireworks.
1980's themed singstar party
1st place in pastels tx state comp. @ plano senior high
restricted.
tolerance leads to compassion, Christ like compassion. loving those who have hurt you, wronged you, or have no knowledge of you. affection, not anger. respect, not ridicule. correction, not condemnation.
look for an opportunity to serve. here are a few examples of my favorite things to do:
-open the door, easy and common. yet somehow many people over look holding the door for someone.
-putting up someones grocery cart, i do this every time i go to the grocery store. people love it, especially when its cold or windy.
-picking up the baby's bottle, or sippy cup. you're in line at blockbuster, the lady in front of you has a 10 month old, who drops their cup. pick it up, you're helping her out more than you know.
other ways to serve:
avoid complaining when asked to contribute, learn more about someone's job, notice things that need to get done, on your own.
and then of course, there's volunteer work, help out with a sunday school class, or you could go to a website such as http://www.joycemeyer.org/ and find something that interests you! Joyce Meyer has a really great, what I'd like to call "positive reinforcement" program. You make a donation and you get a reward as well! Or, a personal favorite of mine Tom's Shoes every pair that you buy gives a child in need a brand new pair of shoes as well. http://www.toms.com/
Take the talents that Heavenly Father has blessed you with, and use them to shine the light of Christ in others.
Examples:
you're a really good cook. you have a friend who is going through some work related issues. cook her dinner for her and her family, she will appreciate the meal, and be able to relax by not having to worry about the mess. Please note: I've done this a few times, just make sure you check for allergies.......
Love pets? find someone in your church, elderly or sick (my fav people to take care of), and offer to take care of their little critters. You'll make an impact on the person you're helping and you'll get to make a new friend :)
green thumb? plant a garden for someone, who knows, with your Christlike compassion you may plant another seed :)
There are so many things you can do to serve those around you, turn to the Savior for a wonderful example. These are just my silly ideas that I enjoy doing for other people.
if you are in the service of your neighbor, you're in the service of God.
-b.
numerical value
Sunday, March 28, 2010
outrider.
i would like to start this blog off with a prayer request for the family of Eva Dien Brine Markvoort. She passed away on March 27th 2010, due to CF related complications. CF affects less than 200,000 people in the US population. The death rate for CF patients is apx 484/ year in the US. The common cause of death is lung disease. The average life span of someone with this chronic illness currently sits at 37, however i know people well beyond their 40s that are alive & well :) Eva was 26 years old, had a double lung transplant in 2006, and was overly ecstatic about her life. I know that this is a hard time for her family, and I pray that they will be comforted in knowing that she is in a much better place, pain free. through her live journal, she impacted so many CFers and gave them hope, as well as the realistic side of things. she was beautiful, optimistic and honest. she will be missed.
As for me and my health, my chest pains have started to fade. Antibiotics must be doing something right. Hopefully I can avoid being admitted, my goal is to make it to 1 year without being in the hospital. November 14th 2010. 230 days :) this week: i will take all of meds, the right way. without slipping. i am going to try my hardest to do all that i can to be as healthy as i can.
Great Strides always plays with my emotions. I'm so blessed to be as healthy as I am, but at the same time i feel so guilty when I see others like me, but not as healthy. Its hard for me. There are things I don't like to tell my family, or friends, because I know they won't understand.
I may have an life expectancy of 37, but I've proven the doctors wrong, time and time again. (:
Moving along! the BF and I had a nice little dinner. we have been together for 3 months now, and I can honestly say these 3 months have been nothing less than amazing. He is so caring and hilarious (: my 2 favorite traits in a person. we haven't argued, or anything dramatic, which is always a good sign. my family likes him...which NEVER happens... so yay :)
my plans for the week:
monday- register for summer classes & fhe.
tuesday- work 1230-630 bankkk.
wednesday-work 1230-630 bankkk.
thursday- golfing, if weather permits. haven't been in a while, since my shoulder started acting up. then work @ 300 7-11.
friday-work 10-630 bankkk. 300 7-12.
i'm pretty sure my vacation starts on saturday!
was gonna go out to Heber City to visit a friends family, but since i have an upper resp. infection i'll stay home and play it safe.
Church was amazing, like always. edifying. Shared my testimony of patience & faith in the Lord.
i'll be teaching a VBS class this summer, this will be my 3rd summer in a row! This year it will be the preschoolers, I'm so excited. The theme is uhmm...ranch-style. and the main scripture is James 1:5... one of my favs! I was able to catch up on my tithing today, which is most definitely a good thing, even though I'm a greedy little child. Its a commandment, so I will do it :)
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."
-James 1:5
i sound crazy.
-becker.
As for me and my health, my chest pains have started to fade. Antibiotics must be doing something right. Hopefully I can avoid being admitted, my goal is to make it to 1 year without being in the hospital. November 14th 2010. 230 days :) this week: i will take all of meds, the right way. without slipping. i am going to try my hardest to do all that i can to be as healthy as i can.
Great Strides always plays with my emotions. I'm so blessed to be as healthy as I am, but at the same time i feel so guilty when I see others like me, but not as healthy. Its hard for me. There are things I don't like to tell my family, or friends, because I know they won't understand.
I may have an life expectancy of 37, but I've proven the doctors wrong, time and time again. (:
Moving along! the BF and I had a nice little dinner. we have been together for 3 months now, and I can honestly say these 3 months have been nothing less than amazing. He is so caring and hilarious (: my 2 favorite traits in a person. we haven't argued, or anything dramatic, which is always a good sign. my family likes him...which NEVER happens... so yay :)
my plans for the week:
monday- register for summer classes & fhe.
tuesday- work 1230-630 bankkk.
wednesday-work 1230-630 bankkk.
thursday- golfing, if weather permits. haven't been in a while, since my shoulder started acting up. then work @ 300 7-11.
friday-work 10-630 bankkk. 300 7-12.
i'm pretty sure my vacation starts on saturday!
was gonna go out to Heber City to visit a friends family, but since i have an upper resp. infection i'll stay home and play it safe.
Church was amazing, like always. edifying. Shared my testimony of patience & faith in the Lord.
i'll be teaching a VBS class this summer, this will be my 3rd summer in a row! This year it will be the preschoolers, I'm so excited. The theme is uhmm...ranch-style. and the main scripture is James 1:5... one of my favs! I was able to catch up on my tithing today, which is most definitely a good thing, even though I'm a greedy little child. Its a commandment, so I will do it :)
this week i'm going to try to be my best, be an example, get my priorities straight, and have fun
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."
-James 1:5
diligently seek the Lord, turn to Him with confidence, knowing that His way is right, and His will be done. Having faith is NOT believing that God will grant us our every wish, but that His answer will always be the best for us. We sometimes pray for things & expect them to fall into place immediately, or we ignore the things that Heavenly Father wants for us because we are so set in our own ways.... pray with real intent to know what is right, to know the truth, and it will be manifested to you by the spirit of the holy ghost.
i sound crazy.
-becker.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
& 1/2
When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
endurance.
Each day people every where suffer. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Some may feel like it will never end, this is what they're going to endure, until their lives here are done. Others look toward the Savior for a sense of relief, hope. We are not given trials to entertain others, & we are only given what we can handle. I believe that my Father in Heaven has a plan for me. He knows me, He knows my limits & capabilities. Whatever you are enduring right now, whether it be with your faith, with your family, or career, He knows how you feel, and He is right there to comfort you. Any hour of every day, turn to Him. Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
After work friday I was feeling extremely overwhelmed. I came home, laid down and realized what I thought was the sound of a radio, from a distance, was in fact my lungs. I was wheezing SO much it really scared me. I called the CF dr and explained how I was feeling. I was advised to go to the ER and get some IV antibiotics, x rays and a few other tests. I didn't think I was going to be admitted, but they did offer. I would much rather be at home and try the oral antibiotics before deciding to be admitted. Needless to say I spent the night in the ER. was diagnosed with a flare up from my staph aureus. I'm on something for that, and a pain killer for the stabbing chest/back pain due to the infection. As far as CF goes, for me, I'm blessed. I try not to take it for granted. And then I have these wake up calls, where I realize that I'm pretty much normal, not too sick from this crud. I've been hospitalized 4 times. & for a 20 yr old CFer that is nothing. 2009 was a bad year, first year I was ever admitted 2 separate times. We've (the doctors & me) come to the conclusion that my "tuneups" are usually around April/May, and October/November. Hopefully I can make it to my goal of being out of the hospital for 6 months, which is a short time away.
My little Gavin is sick, he is what I call my CF battle buddy :) I wish I was able to heal him, I'm not trying to find a cure for me, but for him & all the other little kids who can't play outside, or who have to grow up too soon. He is my hero <3 if anyone reads this, please keep him in your prayers tonight.
I'm so very thankful for a wonderful mother. She took me to the ER and has always been willing to do so much for me. i love you mama!
"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
- Isaiah 40:31
the promises that the scriptures provide are breathtakingly satisfying.
sincerely sincere,
beck.
haikus
i woke up breathless
like watercolor on ice
and now i love you
matter of feeling
works of art, fact not fiction
your number one fan
rising up above
the lines etched into my palm
lead me where to go
After work friday I was feeling extremely overwhelmed. I came home, laid down and realized what I thought was the sound of a radio, from a distance, was in fact my lungs. I was wheezing SO much it really scared me. I called the CF dr and explained how I was feeling. I was advised to go to the ER and get some IV antibiotics, x rays and a few other tests. I didn't think I was going to be admitted, but they did offer. I would much rather be at home and try the oral antibiotics before deciding to be admitted. Needless to say I spent the night in the ER. was diagnosed with a flare up from my staph aureus. I'm on something for that, and a pain killer for the stabbing chest/back pain due to the infection. As far as CF goes, for me, I'm blessed. I try not to take it for granted. And then I have these wake up calls, where I realize that I'm pretty much normal, not too sick from this crud. I've been hospitalized 4 times. & for a 20 yr old CFer that is nothing. 2009 was a bad year, first year I was ever admitted 2 separate times. We've (the doctors & me) come to the conclusion that my "tuneups" are usually around April/May, and October/November. Hopefully I can make it to my goal of being out of the hospital for 6 months, which is a short time away.
My little Gavin is sick, he is what I call my CF battle buddy :) I wish I was able to heal him, I'm not trying to find a cure for me, but for him & all the other little kids who can't play outside, or who have to grow up too soon. He is my hero <3 if anyone reads this, please keep him in your prayers tonight.
I'm so very thankful for a wonderful mother. She took me to the ER and has always been willing to do so much for me. i love you mama!
"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
- Isaiah 40:31
the promises that the scriptures provide are breathtakingly satisfying.
sincerely sincere,
beck.
haikus
i woke up breathless
like watercolor on ice
and now i love you
matter of feeling
works of art, fact not fiction
your number one fan
rising up above
the lines etched into my palm
lead me where to go
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