past due.

I guess typing this post will be a true test of my typing skills. the room is about as pitch dark as you could imagine, except for, of course the computer screen!

Not that anyone really reads this, but just so I can keep track for myself...
Working @ WF for now, really enjoy the people, and the job is easy. Can't complain at all. I'm at my sisters house right now, spending the night watching Ethan in his bouncer, he's in the room across from me. Each time our eyes meet his little face lights up! I love little kids and the pure hearts and innocence that they convey. It is a true expression of God's love for us. How something, someone, so small can be so happy and bring so much joy to our family. I've been over coming a lot of things this year. Inactivity, for one. I got back into church, and am really feeling God's presence and His work in my life, more and more each day. I'm still so far from where my heart desires to be, but as long as I continue to press forward with all that I have, I know that I will be blessed and will become the woman that God wants me to be. Its a long journey, that's for sure. For some reason, as of late, I'm really burdened by other people's worries. I shouldn't have additional stress, but for some reason I do. I just keep praying for these people who are going through things, but it seems as if I am turning to the Lord, instead of them. Speaking of which! I gave my FIRST TALK at church on sunday july 18th! having been a member for a little over a year, I was ecstatic and very nervous. Everyone said I did well, and I def felt the spirit as I shared my thoughts. I was instructed to share Elder Hallstroms talk entitled Turn To The Lord. The main focus is to never let an earthly experience disable you spiritually. It was just what I needed and I'm so thankful for being given the opportunity to share it with the ward!

Getting sleepy, will continue to write later!

been a while.......

Haven't posted a new blog in a while. here's an update:

quit BOA, couldn't maintain my Christ like spirit around those people. Also looking to break free of the circle of friends and co workers from RLT. Time to move forward, step out of my comfort zone. this week *so far* i've had one interview with Cap 1, and another one on Friday w/ fargo. Hoping to land the fargo job!

Ethan Zain is so incredibly big. he has 2 teeth growing in on the bottom. he laughs, and fake cries so pathetically.

i'm single...it's different. not sure how things changed, thought it was a good relationship, but apparently something wasnt going right. how am i doing? ok. just try not to be alone, try not to think about him. he is a great guy, with a great cop out on a relationship. phone break ups? not a fan. no hard feelings, just hurt for now. decided to focus my attention to God. the time that i was spending with the BF is now replaced by listening to worship songs, and praying. i've seriously never prayed this much in my entire life, and it feels good. i know God has a plan, and this is all apart of it. and yeah, i loved someone and lost them, but God is lighting my path, wherever i may lead. maybe i'll never get married, i'll just work all the time, and have an amazing relationship with my family. or maybe God wants me to learn patience, and he will, in return, bless me with an amazing Christ like man. i'm scared, sad and a bit excited. going to try and be okay with being single for a while. its so weird to go from talking to someone everyday and seeing them a few days a week, to feeling like they don't exist. he hasn't even acknowledged me, and that is what hurts....boys will be boys. I know he'll regret it. and i'll still support him when he's overseas, maybe a box of his fav candy every now and then, just to prove to him that i truly do care for him, whether its as a friend, or whatever. i said some pretty harsh things, and feel terrible about it...but it was mostly out of anger. Please pray I get through this quickly and can be independent.

in other news....
thats about it.
teaching vacation bible school this week, really excited at how well its going :)

safety

I saw angels fall down
at the glory of the Lord
and as I raise my hands I see

I saw angels fall down
at the glory of the Lord
and as I hit the ground I see

And I fall down
afraid and shaking here
And I fall down
perfectly safe in you

I saw angels fall down
at the glory of the Lord
the hurt and the broken find rest here

I saw angels fall down
at the beauty of the Lord
and as I kneeled I cried to know Him

yeah...




the weather today was so nice, went to dinner with the BF and sat out on the patio and enjoyed it.

friday; ugh how i despise thee.
saturday; how i anxiously await the arrival of theeeee.
sunday; mother's day :)
vacay next week.
great strides may 15th fair park.
lots to do!

blessed,

b.

threesixfive

if it's real, i'll survive.
if it isn't, God has something else planned.
HE always has 3 answers:
1. Yes, Here it is.
2. Yes, but not right now.
3. No, I have something better for you

hm.

blog

hold me in your arms, never let me go, i wanna spend eternity with you <3

devotion [faith]

faith isn't faith, until its the only thing you're holding onto.

what is the difference between faith and hope?

hope is a desire full of anticipation, faith is trust combined with loyalty.

I suffer from lack of faith, I have a cup running over with hope. hope that God will answer our prayers is not merely enough, of course we want it to happen, but with hope, we may have our doubts. take your hope, replace it with faith, or add faith to it, and you will be pleasantly surprised. most of us are impatient, i ask for a job, and expect God to place one right in front of me, Sometimes we ask for things and don't realize when our prayers have been answered, or we wanted something else, and refuse to let go of what we initially desired.with faith, i know that when God deems it absolutely necessary, he will answer my prayers, he will test my faith by prolonging his answers, he will show me the answers in places i would not look where can you find faith?

first you must commit yourself to searching and indulging in the faith once it is found. for me, faith is found in the worldly beauty i see when i look into the stars, how can one not have faith in such a superior God, when he created all that we are and all that we see? i find faith in reading the word, there are verses that apply to EVERY situation, you want strength?

isaiah 33:2

BE GRACIOIUS O' LORD WE LONG FOR YOU BE OUR STRENGTH EVERY MORNING AND OUR SALVATION IN TIME OF DISTRESS.

you want to know about loving Christ?

Deuteronomy 10:12

WHAT DOTH THE LORD THY GOD REQUIRE OF THEE, BUT TO FEAR THE LORD THY GOD, TO WALK IN ALL HIS WAYS AND TO LOVE HIM AND TO SERVE IHIM WITH ALL THINE HEART AND SOUL

seek and you shall find, flip through the pages of the word and sure enough you will find faith, or it may just find you.

testing the faith-

God will place you in great trials, you may experience death of a close one, how will you handle it? will you turn to God in your time of need? or ask why me? why now? Finding faith can be easier than making a bowl cereal, or harder than a rock, you must first allow yourself to become vulnerable to Christ, knock down your barriers, let His spirit lift your soul .

finding faith is something that you need to put effort in, and trust me, the Lord All Mighty is always willing to meet you MORE than halfway.

faith is not a perfect knowledge of things, it is hope for things that remain unseen. ask and ye shall receive, seek and it shall be given unto you.

blog.

haven't posted in a while, mostly because i've been running around like a head with no chicken, or something like that. haha.

pretty much here's the DL on my life:

missed church on Sunday, had dinner with the boyfriend & friends.
monday, no work, hung out with the boyfriend after work, we went to bath & body works, watched a movie, and had din din.
tuesday, worked two shifts at le bank, went to prayer meeting.
wednesday, worked jeff's shift @ the bank so he could be with his fam, then met up with him and met some extended family members.
thursday, my day off. who knows what i'll end up doing! yay!
friday, work.
saturday, MY BDAY! yeah!

prayer meeting was really good this past tuesday. We are seeing some amazing things happen because of our devotion to God. Praying not only helps us become stronger, but it helps to remind us why we are here. my friend SGT Stewart FINALLY got his promotion, i'm way happy for him. that was a prayer answered. Jeff got his promotion, which is most def a praise. :) Baby Ethan is doing well, as well as the rest of my fam.


i have a ton of friends serving overseas, and i love them for it. i try to thank them, and remind them why their jobs are so important. but things are a little different now. i'm really trusting in God that if this is what He wants for me, then so be it. If it isn't then....well I havent thought about if it isnt because it feels so right.

i love the boyfriend.

health wise my allergies are acting up, no word on the Chase Bank position....nothing big happening. well :) i'm lying, but if i blogged about it then word might get out, and thats the last thing i want.

so in conclusion,
i've got some major decisions to make, coming up. i'm just praying that i'll do the right thing, i'll grow in my faith, and willingness to serve God, and someday i'll look back and think YEAH! it was totally worth it :)




without a shadow of a doubt i know that i love that man!


tis all.


---becky