whirlwind.

you may hear a lot of discouraging words, good intentions from the misinformed, you will need a strategy, a game plan that you're willing to commit to. establish a routine, unique to your needs, and strive not to stray, learn how to juggle, and i'm not talking about juggling bouncy balls, or anything fun. i mean learn how to juggle your priorities. look ahead with realistic expectations, & try not to stress. look before you jump, and try to stay cool. fight aggressively. be prepared. plan for the future. work out the differences. learn how to cope.don't be afraid to fall. push yourself to your limits, test yourself. you're not the only one, and you're not the last one. don't compare yourself, don't bring yourself down. walk with your head held high. and through out it all, remember to be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.









i sometimes feel like i'm two different people. there's the spiritual rebecca, that loves listening to worship songs & loves reading scriptures & going to church. then there's the carnal rebecca who is so caught up in the world. how do i combine both of those, to be one person all the time? i guess each day is one step closer to learning how to do it.

today was a pretty sham day, which makes me kind of sad. i was in bed until 3 p.m. my back & lungs were killing me, so i just laid there waiting for the pain to die down. then i decided to get up, thinking that might help. i cleaned my room...everything but the closet. then i watched lost and had dinner. now i'm here, blogging before i do my treatments.

i still havent decided whether or not to take summer classes at school, hopefully i'll have made up my mind by next week.

whaddaday.

-r.

in your eyes.

to vent:
10 things that really bother me:

10. inconsiderate people
9. bringing up the past
8. apologizing, w/o knowing what you're apologizing for
7. a lack of effort
6. lack of prioritizing things correctly
5. being manipulated
4. pushy people
3. snooty booties
2. overly dramatic people
1. down playing a serious situation

Yiiiikes.

so yeahh.

i've been exposing myself to people with cystic fibrosis, more lately. which is causing diverse emotions. i either feel bad for them, or feel guilty for being as healthy as i have been. i guess thats normal.

other than that, i'm just trying to get things in order. my chest has been hurting so much between yesterday & today. i hope its just allergy related.

oh boy. time for bed.

God is good, all the time.

undone

agh! today :) church with the family, i got to hold my baby nephew, Ethan for almost an hour. he's so precious. the purity that a child expresses is amazing. he's so young and innocent, its such a joy to watch him grow. he's already smiling and starting to make baby noises. he is truly a child of God. we also had the annual CF fund raising dinner, which was a success. i always get really nervous and panic right before it starts. i was in a grumpy mood all day, but tried my hardest to hide it... not too sure if it worked.

to find out more about CF or to donate to Beckuh's Buddies, please click the link below. :)
http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/dsp_DonationPage.cfm?walkid=6839&idUser=284569

Psalms 17:8
"Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings,"

how beautiful is that?

(:

'nite

etc.,

Kind of interesting day, thats for sure.
here's a quick run-down:
got home from work around 12:15 a.m., went to sleep around 2, woke up at 7:30, early for work @ the bank, ate chicken n rice, took a nap, woke up for work around 5:25, ate sonic, then went to work until 12:15, again.

why's that so interesting?
50% sleeping
50% working

productive, huh?

i've been trying my hardest to focus on school, but for some reason this semester isn't happening for me. Its so tedious and uninteresting...which is a first for me because usually i'm so involved with school. I hope its different next semester, I know it will be. i'll regret slacking off, but as of right now i'm just tired of trying to be the perfect daughter, employee, student, girlfriend, church member, and all the other roles i strive to fill.

I had a pretty good conversation with a couple of co workers today, at both places of employment.

convo # 1: what are your pet peeves & why?
mine: (even though i'm guilty) cussing & dishonesty.

because cussing is usually unnecessary, it takes away from the intelligence of a person, and offends the spirit. my goal this week: not to cuss. :) i will do it. i just barely started cussing, so i better stop it before it gets worse! dishonesty- it has a domino effect, one thing leads to another & so forth. pretty soon you're in so deep you don't even know the truth

convo #2: a brief overview of the sincerity of mankind.
most people i meet are sincere people. they express genuine interests in whatever the topic/activity is. they are honest & willing to help another person. however, there are the exceptions. Like the lady at the bowling alley, who chunked her ball to the ground exclaiming that it was too heavy and we should know better, uhmm okkkk ma'am i'm sorry about that. i don't know your muscle mass, or personal preference unless you inform me. Then there are the people at the bank, ohhh the people at the bank! Some customers get so angry, i've had money thrown at me, i've had customers call me all kinds of names. I think its ridiculous to go somewhere and treat people disrespectfully because of an error. Hello, I am human, I make mistakes, so are you. It happens. Every now and then, I come across wonderful people, who seem to be a rare kind, but if you open your eyes and see the good in all of God's children, you'll realize its not that rare. Like a few people I encountered at work, so nice, sincerely thanking me, genuinely expressing an interest in how my day is going, and simple things like that. A smile or a thank you sure does go a long way after working 12 hours on 4 hours of sleep :)

tomorrow is my fund raising dinner at church. I hope it goes well!

Ecclesiastes 5:19

"As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor—this is the gift of God. For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joy of his heart."

-reee.

yellow peel

How often does that happen?! Picking up this second job at the bowling alley seemed like a "sham" job to me, however today I quickly learned otherwise. My first 5 days there I tied laces, racked balls, and greeted customers. Today I greeted customers while getting their balls and tying shoes at the same time, all while smiling and being personable..not too hard, huh? I was thinking to my overly exhausted self, "why in the world do I want to work a second job......?" its 13 hours a week, thursday friday & saturday. I stay up late anyways, might as well be productive, right? eh.

anywho, living with cystic fibrosis has taught me a lot. I'm blessed with the ability to walk, eat, breathe, sleep, and participate in extracurricular activities. Many people with CF *depending on their specific genetic mutation* cannot do those things on their own. I'm able to work 35+ hours, attend school, run a mile or 2, and do many other things without it being too much. I've also learned my limits, I know when to slow down, but I don't always do that. I'm working on taking care of myself. Which means the following:

-striving to eat 6000 calories a day...yeahhh. this low fat yogurt ain't helpin' NONE (bahha)
-doing 3-4 breathing treatments per day. This is where I am of EPIC fail. Its so hard to do that, but since I started blogging, I do my night time treatment while I type. Easy 'nuff!
-getting at least 7 hours of sleep, and sneaking cat naps in when I can
-taking 298734 pills per day (vitamins, enyzmes, etc.,) Least fav part

so yeahhh.


my youngest nephew, EZ turned 2 months old today! what a wonderful blessing he is. The joy that he brings to our family is outstanding. Just looking at his little face makes my heart melt, and my gratitude towards my Savior strengthen. LOVEIT.

"Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday"

Psalm 37:5-6

spass!

pretty much.. today was a really good day. i had a wonderful conversation, with my wonderful sister...went for a walk with my nephew, got a lot of things done, and now i'm finally off work & gonna blog as i do my treatments.

i was at a red light, on beltline, and i heard a voice call "HEY" i was like uhmmm "HELLER?" its was a fireman, in the fire truck next to me, he asked me if i wanted to race. hahaha. pretty hilarious, he kind of made my day!

today was the day that i surrendered my little frankie kitty. i decided after 20 years of being a cat person, i'd rather not have any pets to deal with. now i can disappear for days on end, and not get a voicemail "your cat is hungry!" hehehe. j/k i dropped her off at the dallas SPCA, the lady was kind of grumpy..but they gave lil frankie her shots and accepted her in. i hope someone adopts her, she really is a wonderful pet. if you're interested in helping the SPCA, go to http://www.aspca.org/donate/ to make a donation!

i heard some awesome lyrics today, as i was driving to work. decided to post them on here:


"If you're lost and lonely
You're Broken down
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down

All you sinners
And the weak at heart
All you helpless
On the boulevards
Wherever you are now
Whatever evil you've found
Bring all of your troubles
And come lay 'em down"

- Lay em down, by need to breathe.
it really is a great song.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. "– Matthew 11:28-30

something i'm simply amazed by is the fact that Jesus Christ suffered alone for us, so that we don't have to.
whatever burdens you have, take them to Heavenly Father, He is always there & willing to listen :) trust me, you'll feel better, too!

Silver Bullet

So, I'm new to this blogging concept. Not too sure what to write, or if it will even interest anyone. I'm mostly writing for myself, so that someday I can look back and remember who I was, and what I was experiencing at the time of writing. A bit about me, I love my life. I have this amazing love for Christ as my Savior, and through that, I am capable of achieving my most wildest dreams. I have a wonderful family, who, no matter what, has always been there for me. and I know that they will continue to stand by me. I attend Brookhaven Community College, work at a bank and a bowling alley, which of course means, I'm always busy doing something. Usually something productive :) in my free time I like to volunteer at the local animal shelter, help out at church, hang out with my family & boyfriend. I've been thinking a lot about how my life has changed so much, since last year. I've gained this amazing knowledge of who I truly am and what I want in life. I've also become very dependent upon technology, which is changing, very soon! One day out of the week, I will be turning my cell phone off, yes this is extreme! Its going to be on Sundays, because I find myself texting or playing games during church, which is NOT beneficial to my spiritual needs. I read this wonderful article about how we live in an age of technological dependency, and how it prevents us from succeeding, or learning things.

"Sometimes the most productive “point and click” application is that of pointing our finger at the power button and clicking our digital devices off."


Moving on, this was my "scripture of the day," which is by far a personal fav.

Isaiah 40:28-31KJV

²⁸Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.

²⁹He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

³⁰Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

³¹But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

This time, two years ago, I was admitted to UTSW for a week & a half, due to a chronic illness. I was flipping through the pages of my study bible, and as I read the words above, I felt an amazing sense of peace. To this day, I read it and feel that same emotion, just as I did during the trials of my faith 2 years ago. "...they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary.." LOVEIT



-till next time-

r