assembly.

I've always enjoyed driving on the highway, windows down, warm wind flowing through, and listening to worship songs. It makes me feel so alive, and grateful for all that I have in my life.

Lately I've been feeling slightly down due to a few things, nothing too serious. a song on 94.9 really comforted me, its by Amy Grant, and officially on my favorites list!

lyrics:

It takes a little time sometimes
To get your feet back on the ground
It takes a little time sometimes
To get the titanic turned back around
It takes a little time sometimes
But baby you're not going down
It takes more than you've got right now
Give it time

I've been praying for patience. . . patience in faith, success, and pretty much every other aspect of my life. It's so hard to let God handle it all, but I'm on the road to submission.


I enjoyed a nice evening at church with my nephews & sisters. We talked about the significance of Easter. The criticism and doubts that people had in Jesus as the Messiah back then are still around today. Many non-Christians will ask me "if God & Jesus really did exist, why are people still suffering?" You can refer to Luke for the comments that were made, the day that Jesus was on the cross. "And saying, If thou be the king of the Jews, save thyself." (23:37) If we knew no pain, would ever know joy? In my opinion we have to experience the sadness to know happiness, and vice verse. Everyone here has a purpose, we may not know or see it now, and we may be confused, hurt, and lose faith in our Savior if we do not see His saving grace around us. We are here to be tested, we will all have our doubts at some point. And that is ok. Its ok to ask questions, to lose faith, to surrender, but through out it all remember to pray for the answers, faith and strength.




My PFTs (for those who don't know, PFTs are pulmonary function tests, measures the lung volume and a few other things.) were at 104%. which is extremely good for someone my age, with CF. The last 3 appointments they were at 99%, which concerned me. I was afraid that since I had pneumonia, the flu and a virus (within 3 months...) there was permanent damage. I was so relieved! I am truly blessed! So, in celebration of my healthy lungs, I am committed to running a half marathon. I will start training next week, and continue until October. Even if don't make it to the end, which I'm fully aware that I may not, I will still be proud of myself for trying. 13.1 miles is a lot. The most I've ever run was 7 miles, and I wanted to sleep for three weeks after that. I'm going to pray, train and take my meds the right way until this half marathon is as easy as a slice of cake. I'm so excited. I'm going to make a shirt for when I work out, that has Philippians 4:13 on it as a reminder of my source of strength!





I'm so incredibly excited for Easter, Saturday with my wonderful family, & Sunday with the boyfriends amazing family.


on a side note: i love to pray. it really is amazing to just sit and pray, or kneel and pray. the feeling, the spirit that i feel, is so rejuvenating and comforting. it's important to engage in meaningful prayer. not just praying because you feel obligated to, or because its routine. pray because you want to deepen the connection with Heavenly Father. plead for understanding, wisdom, a sense of direction, and help with the things you cannot do alone. i start my prayers off by giving thanks. thanks for the wonderful weather, my family, my faith, my job, health, etc., and i always close with "& in the name of Thy Son, Jesus Christ, Amen" idk why i say Thy... I just do. haha. i'm always the first to raise my hand to lead prayer...always looking for an opportunity :)

loveloveloveit.

"Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. "
Romans 6:8-11

-becker.

restoration.

I really want to play a round of golf, I wish I wouldn't have hurt my shoulders during last semester's final round. Not like I was a pro, but I enjoyed the sport.

1. What do you do for fun? I enjoy spending time with my family, usually at the park, church, dollar theatres, hangin' out at the house, birthday parties and singstar/guitar hero parties. I like hanging out with my friends from church, and school. Usually a movie, or dinner. Spending time with the boyfriend is always fun. a nice manicure/pedicure, Lifetime movies...yesss. I'm that type of person!
   

   1980's themed singstar party
   

2. Tell me three words your friends would use to describe you. Christian, Loud, Friendly.

3. What kind of movies do you like? What is your favorite movie?I'm not really into movies, except recently. I liked Cloudy w/a chance of meatballs...P.S. I love you, and the Notebook.

4. What kind of books and/or magazines do you like? What is the last book or magazine you read? The bible was the last thing I read. I like Christian based books, Edgar Allan Poe short stories, and a few others I can't think of. the red one is my first bible :) i still read it!

5. If you won the lottery, how would you spend it? First: I would tithe off of it :) then buy my mama a new car, make the necessary repairs needed. Save most of it. Give the rest to the CFF.

6. What kind of music do you listen to? Do you have a favorite musician or band?I listen to EVERYTHING. From Elvis to Zeppelin, Hootie & the Blowfish to Mariah Carey, T.I. to Taylor Swift, and Hillsong United. Michael W. Smith is a personal fav. " You are Holy (Prince of Peace)" :) :)

7. What are the most important qualities you are looking for in a friend or significant other?A genuinely nice person, down to earth, faith, strong willed, patient, loving, happy & independent. must enjoy being with family.
   

8. What would you cook if you were having friends or family over for dinner? I found this really yummy recipe for Dr Pepper ribs, might have to try it out soon. Either that or egg rolls & rice- my current cooking obsession.

9. Which is your favorite season and why? I like the transition from Summer to Fall. I can't pick...both have their perks.
   

10. Do you like to travel and where have you been? Love to travel. Germany, France, Hawai'i, Oklahoma, Florida, NJ.

11. What place would you like to visit that you haven't been to yet?Jamaica. I've always wanted to go there and try some bread fruit.
    

12. What is your most prized possession? uh. does family count as a possession? if not, then my car. Little reliable Nemo.
    

13. Would you consider yourself a morning person or a night person and why? Both. depending on what I have to do. If its for school/work- morning person. If I have to wake up and rush somewhere without planning, most def not a morning person. I like staying up late, too.

14. How would you describe a perfect date? going to church would be ideal :) hah. i'm weird. uhm really anything :)
    

15. Do you have any pets? What kind of pets? Negative. Had to get ready of my Lil' Frankie.

16. What are you most passionate about? Spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ, Curing CF & everything in between!
    

17. If you could do any job you wanted to, what would it be? I'd be in the military, something linguistic. Either that, or a stay at home mom. Does that count?
    

18. Who do you most admire and why? My mama. She is just amazing, a beautiful woman who has always worked hard, and prayed even harder.

19. What's your idea of a great vacation? Going to New York sounds pleasing.

20. If you could live anywhere other than here, where would it be and why? Garbsen Germany, fresh air, lots of clear land, my horses & my family <3>

21. What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you? Oh so many things. 2007, in Berlin. You had to be there...hilarious. Pretty much a lot of funny things have happened to me :)
    

22. What hobbies do you have? play the guitar, writing, drawing, water color painting, photography (just started this one) and volunteer work.1st place in pastels tx state comp. @ plano senior high
    

23. Which of your achievements are you most proud? Oh. ya know, this is kind of hard for me. Mostly just being here today, the small things in life that I've overcome. :)
    

24. What do you think is the most important value in a relationship or friendship? Christ like love.
    

25. What holiday do you enjoy the most and how do you celebrate it? Christmas, Luke Chapter 2 Best thing ever. The start of something amazing, most def worth observing. Love spending it with my family & friends. I also love 4th of July, a personal fav. Good food, celebrating what we do have, paying tribute to our soliders, spending it with the family outside with fireworks.

restricted.

tolerance leads to compassion, Christ like compassion. loving those who have hurt you, wronged you, or have no knowledge of you. affection, not anger. respect, not ridicule. correction, not condemnation.

look for an opportunity to serve. here are a few examples of my favorite things to do:
-open the door, easy and common. yet somehow many people over look holding the door for someone.
-putting up someones grocery cart, i do this every time i go to the grocery store. people love it, especially when its cold or windy.
-picking up the baby's bottle, or sippy cup. you're in line at blockbuster, the lady in front of you has a 10 month old, who drops their cup. pick it up, you're helping her out more than you know.

other ways to serve:

avoid complaining when asked to contribute, learn more about someone's job, notice things that need to get done, on your own.
and then of course, there's volunteer work, help out with a sunday school class, or you could go to a website such as http://www.joycemeyer.org/ and find something that interests you! Joyce Meyer has a really great, what I'd like to call "positive reinforcement" program. You make a donation and you get a reward as well! Or, a personal favorite of mine Tom's Shoes every pair that you buy gives a child in need a brand new pair of shoes as well. http://www.toms.com/

Take the talents that Heavenly Father has blessed you with, and use them to shine the light of Christ in others.
Examples:

you're a really good cook. you have a friend who is going through some work related issues. cook her dinner for her and her family, she will appreciate the meal, and be able to relax by not having to worry about the mess. Please note: I've done this a few times, just make sure you check for allergies.......

Love pets? find someone in your church, elderly or sick (my fav people to take care of), and offer to take care of their little critters. You'll make an impact on the person you're helping and you'll get to make a new friend :)

green thumb? plant a garden for someone, who knows, with your Christlike compassion you may plant another seed :)

There are so many things you can do to serve those around you, turn to the Savior for a wonderful example. These are just my silly ideas that I enjoy doing for other people.



if you are in the service of your neighbor, you're in the service of God.

-b.

numerical value

Sisters, probably the most competitive relationship in the family, but once you're grown it becomes the strongest relationship, an unbreakable bond.

outrider.

i would like to start this blog off with a prayer request for the family of Eva Dien Brine Markvoort. She passed away on March 27th 2010, due to CF related complications. CF affects less than 200,000 people in the US population. The death rate for CF patients is apx 484/ year in the US. The common cause of death is lung disease. The average life span of someone with this chronic illness currently sits at 37, however i know people well beyond their 40s that are alive & well :) Eva was 26 years old, had a double lung transplant in 2006, and was overly ecstatic about her life. I know that this is a hard time for her family, and I pray that they will be comforted in knowing that she is in a much better place, pain free. through her live journal, she impacted so many CFers and gave them hope, as well as the realistic side of things. she was beautiful, optimistic and honest. she will be missed.

As for me and my health, my chest pains have started to fade. Antibiotics must be doing something right. Hopefully I can avoid being admitted, my goal is to make it to 1 year without being in the hospital. November 14th 2010. 230 days :) this week: i will take all of meds, the right way. without slipping. i am going to try my hardest to do all that i can to be as healthy as i can.

Great Strides always plays with my emotions. I'm so blessed to be as healthy as I am, but at the same time i feel so guilty when I see others like me, but not as healthy. Its hard for me. There are things I don't like to tell my family, or friends, because I know they won't understand.

I may have an life expectancy of 37, but I've proven the doctors wrong, time and time again. (:

Moving along! the BF and I had a nice little dinner. we have been together for 3 months now, and I can honestly say these 3 months have been nothing less than amazing. He is so caring and hilarious (: my 2 favorite traits in a person. we haven't argued, or anything dramatic, which is always a good sign. my family likes him...which NEVER happens... so yay :)

my plans for the week:
monday- register for summer classes & fhe.
tuesday- work 1230-630 bankkk.
wednesday-work 1230-630 bankkk.
thursday- golfing, if weather permits. haven't been in a while, since my shoulder started acting up. then work @ 300 7-11.
friday-work 10-630 bankkk. 300 7-12.
i'm pretty sure my vacation starts on saturday!

was gonna go out to Heber City to visit a friends family, but since i have an upper resp. infection i'll stay home and play it safe.

Church was amazing, like always. edifying. Shared my testimony of patience & faith in the Lord.
i'll be teaching a VBS class this summer, this will be my 3rd summer in a row! This year it will be the preschoolers, I'm so excited. The theme is uhmm...ranch-style. and the main scripture is James 1:5... one of my favs! I was able to catch up on my tithing today, which is most definitely a good thing, even though I'm a greedy little child. Its a commandment, so I will do it :)

this week i'm going to try to be my best, be an example, get my priorities straight, and have fun

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."
-James 1:5

diligently seek the Lord, turn to Him with confidence, knowing that His way is right, and His will be done. Having faith is NOT believing that God will grant us our every wish, but that His answer will always be the best for us. We sometimes pray for things & expect them to fall into place immediately, or we ignore the things that Heavenly Father wants for us because we are so set in our own ways.... pray with real intent to know what is right, to know the truth, and it will be manifested to you by the spirit of the holy ghost.

i sound crazy.


-becker.

& 1/2

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

endurance.

Each day people every where suffer. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Some may feel like it will never end, this is what they're going to endure, until their lives here are done. Others look toward the Savior for a sense of relief, hope. We are not given trials to entertain others, & we are only given what we can handle. I believe that my Father in Heaven has a plan for me. He knows me, He knows my limits & capabilities. Whatever you are enduring right now, whether it be with your faith, with your family, or career, He knows how you feel, and He is right there to comfort you. Any hour of every day, turn to Him. Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

After work friday I was feeling extremely overwhelmed. I came home, laid down and realized what I thought was the sound of a radio, from a distance, was in fact my lungs. I was wheezing SO much it really scared me. I called the CF dr and explained how I was feeling. I was advised to go to the ER and get some IV antibiotics, x rays and a few other tests. I didn't think I was going to be admitted, but they did offer. I would much rather be at home and try the oral antibiotics before deciding to be admitted. Needless to say I spent the night in the ER. was diagnosed with a flare up from my staph aureus. I'm on something for that, and a pain killer for the stabbing chest/back pain due to the infection. As far as CF goes, for me, I'm blessed. I try not to take it for granted. And then I have these wake up calls, where I realize that I'm pretty much normal, not too sick from this crud. I've been hospitalized 4 times. & for a 20 yr old CFer that is nothing. 2009 was a bad year, first year I was ever admitted 2 separate times. We've (the doctors & me) come to the conclusion that my "tuneups" are usually around April/May, and October/November. Hopefully I can make it to my goal of being out of the hospital for 6 months, which is a short time away.

My little Gavin is sick, he is what I call my CF battle buddy :) I wish I was able to heal him, I'm not trying to find a cure for me, but for him & all the other little kids who can't play outside, or who have to grow up too soon. He is my hero <3 if anyone reads this, please keep him in your prayers tonight.

I'm so very thankful for a wonderful mother. She took me to the ER and has always been willing to do so much for me. i love you mama!


"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
- Isaiah 40:31

the promises that the scriptures provide are breathtakingly satisfying.

sincerely sincere,

beck.


haikus

i woke up breathless
like watercolor on ice
and now i love you

matter of feeling
works of art, fact not fiction
your number one fan

rising up above
the lines etched into my palm
lead me where to go